Things just keep getting worse

My daughter when she left out home was not even aware we got a subsidy for her. WE are doing visits, working the case plan etc. The case plan says reintegration is the goal and there is alot of family involvement and support. It also says we are very frustrated with the situation and wish her returned to our home ASAP. So if she is basing it off hearsay she is WRONG. I have not even talked to this woman!

Wow...that is just so unprofessional! Is there any way to get a new GAL assigned? Im not sure who you would even contact about that. I have been following your posts and it makes me really nervous about our DD as she has displayed some of the same issues (mild RAD, unable to maintain relationships, crazy mood changes, acting out violently with myself and one of her brothers). Although hers are not as extreme right now she has family history of mental illness issues that surface after puberty and we are beginning to see some early warning signs.

I was able to identify someone from real life on these forums once. They were adoptive parents who adopted a child that I knew. For me, it was nice to know a little about the child's new family. But, others may use the information. Is it possible that the GAL, or someone who knows the GAL, is also a member here, and is reading your posts?

You know, I've thought about that. Honestly, this is a big site---a well known site. To think this isn't too far of a stretch perhaps....... Sincerely, Linny

I don't know. I have never used my real name or any of my kids real names and I have NEVER said on this site we were not going to work reintegration or said we do not intend to bring her home!

Plus it's not true. We are giving reintergation an honest try.. We are following the plan. I find it funny someone thinks we don't ever intend to bring her home and we feel like they don't ever intend on bringing her home. We tried to keep them from taking her. We offered to give DCF custody and keep her in the home. WE fought to keep her here because it is sooooo important she work with the same treatment team due to her RAD. But bottom line is my daughter is going to have to make some mental health progress before we can even have unsupervised visits and get into some family therapy. NO ONE has EVER said we do not plan to bring her home. I am a Christian person and through God anything is possible.

Hmm, I honestly don't believe that it was from this forum...I say that because *I* know your *real* name and in googling variations, you do not come up on this forum. I even tried your daughter's name and nope! nothing! Even if someone knew your screen name here, it doesn't go to this forum where they could read what you have posted. You have posted situations that are so alike many on this forum. You do not give out any identifying information or links, so the chances of someone knowing these posts are by use - especially given how many users there are - are very small. Is it possible, that while living at home, your daughter was able to check your history and see this forum & maybe snoop? Or perhaps know the screen name you would use? And from what I have read, you have not indicated the decision to not bring your daughter home and have sought help in dealing with her mental needs.

Nope. My computer is fingerprint security. I think I have possibly figured out the source and it iis not a message board. It is an attorney we consulted and did not hire. He sees our GAL all the time and I wondering if something was divulged by means of him.

That is sooo wrong...even if you went in, I would think that he isn't suppose to repeat anything...but then, no one seems to follow anything anymore. :-(

Yep but of course no way to prove it. Just my suspicion and when I told my sister she said she wouldn't put it past him.

She could have been told by foster parents, social worker or even other kids, thats in the system. She could have over heard anyone talk about it. Or she could have seen it in the folders, that mental facilities or fosterhomes have. I know my sister snooped in her folder, found out unpleasant info about her mom. The folder wasn't hard for her to find. I even seen my folder a few times and I wish I took it, like she did. At least I would have more of my school pics.

FWIW, and I'm saying this to be helpful. I'm an editor, so perhaps I read differently than some people. You did use your dtr's real name recently, you might go back through posts and see if you could have admins delete it. It's easy to do when writing a long post, I've seen it many times here, but usually after it's been removed. From reading, I know that, your state, the occupation of the foster parents, your dtr's age, about how far you're driving to see the child, visitation details, etc. If someone logged on here looking for you -- I totally hope that our social servants would have better things to do, but if the foster family believes her, perhaps? -- I would think it would be pretty obvious it was you. There is also the thread "I think we're done" or similar, and there are individual statements along the same lines. It *completely* stinks to be in this type of situation and not be able to feel completely safe about what we're posting. Going through situations like this leaves us 80% or 120% PTSD, in my opinion, just in a heightened mental and emotional state. We NEED support.If I get a chance, I'll look for that specific post, and pm you with the thread/post number. I wish you the best of luck in coping with all of this. As I said before, I have one friend who adopted a child who truly did not heal, broke parent's bones, etc. In a perfect world, you would feel surrounded by support and excellent advice from the state and all agencies. Has your therapist supported you with written statements about what she needs? If not, is that possible? With copies to all concerned, state, FPs, etc. And, have you requested that your child do phone counseling with the same counselor? Requested in writing, to the state? That would seem to me to be the most obvious step for the state to endorse, and show bad faith/inadequate comprehension of the situation on their part, if they do not mandate this.ETA: Found that post and pm'd you. (I searched on the name, which, for all I know, is a code name.) Hope this helps.

I agree with Alys. It can be very easy to identify people with non-identifying information if you know enough. I expect the GAL could easily have identified you just by back searching your posts and reading about the situation.I've identified people before using this forum. One of them talked about having very strict security settings on fb etc and never put their name on anything. True, but that doesn't make you impossible to trace. One person on another forum had put enough non-id that I could work out not who they were, but the childs birth name and bp's information and so on.I'm absolutely certain that I can be easily recognised by anyone (friends, teachers, sw's) that I've interacted with and knows I've adopted. i suspect that's true for the majority of people on this forum mind. It's something to bear in mind when posting on a public forumWishing you the best of luck

I have followed parts of your story and know just a few days ago that you posted using your DD's name and stating that you were no longer willing to visit and did not expect her to be returning to your home. While it may be someone else I could tell you that if I even knew parts of your situation in real life and come on here I would be able to figure out who you are fairly quickly. And unfortunately because you were venting here all it would take is them printing that post to show the court. I am sorry you are going through this but I just wanted to point it out. I know it is terrible because you come here for support but there is a possibility someone could be using what you post here against you.

Thanks for all the concerns. I have posted alot of things. Venting, good and bad. I am doing visits and we are working our reintegration plan as I have stated previously. The whole thing is just sad but what is really sad is I can't come get the support I need from people who get it.