Advertisements
Hi Everyone,
I am new here. I was adopted in 1976 at 6 months old. It was a private adoption. I had a great life. My parents were amazing. My mom never wanted me to look for my birth family and I respected that. To be honest I was never too interested. I did know more then alot of adoptees knew. I knew I had a full brother. My birth mother had asked my parents to adopt both of us but because they lived in an apartment and wouldn't have separate bedrooms for each of us they couldn't. Anyway bth my adoptive parents passed away. While cleaning out the safe I found my adption papers. To my surprise they have my birth parents names on it.
I did a search online out of curiosity. I am more curious to maybe meet my brother. Anyway I can't find him or my birthmother. But I think I may have found my birth father. Its the only one with the exact name including middle initial and his age lines up close to my adoptive parents. I wrote him a letter and mailed it. He should get it on Wednesday. Now I am thinking maybe I shouldn't have. Talking to my uncle (adoptive) he told me he doesn't think he was really my father. He is pretty sure my bmom had a boyfriend. Now I am wondering if I shouldn't have contacted him. I just told him who I was, that I grew up happy, and that if he wanted to contact me...i gave him how to do it. I told him if he wasn't interested it was ok. I also told him that I was really interested in knowing my brother. I think his other kids come up in a search but not the name I knew my bio brother to have.
Like
Share
Hi Lisa, Welcome. I think it is always easy to start second guessing yourself after you make the first step. It doesn't sound like you said anything bad, and regardless if he is your father or not - he likely knew about you. Don't panic. He may be open to giving you information or he may never respond, his choice. Making contact is scary, regardless if you ever really wanted to know them or not - reaching out is nerve racking. Just breathe. Whatever comes out of this just know that if you do make contact - you aren't doing anything wrong. People aren't replaceable on either side of the equation - they are each who they are. Take care,Dickons
Advertisements
Thank you for your responses. I guess I am just second guessing because if he is not my bio father I don't want to bring up anything from his past if he hasn't told current wife/etc.
I will wait and see if I hear back from him. I think I may have figured out a way to try to find my bio moms maiden name if he doesn't help me. Our county clerks office I believe holds all divorce records. Since I do know they were married maybe I can track down her last name that way.
If you know your bmom was married to this man, I'm sure that there are public records that would make finding her easier. If you have difficulties, you could always try asking a search angel for help. I provided some non-identifying information to one and she was able to find the name of my birthmother in a couple of days.Good luck with your search.
A couple days after I sent this letter I received a phone call from the mans sister. The guy was the one on my adoption papers but she confirmed he was not my actual father. She told me a long nasty story about my birth mom which I wish she never did. She called me back and told me what my birth moms maiden name was but I am not sure she was right since literally not one thing pops up anywhere when you type in her name. I am not sure now I want to contact her. I am thinking I probably could go to the office where marriage records are kept to get the correct last name or verify it
Advertisements