To Work or Stay Home?

I stay at home and I love being able to be there for the kids all the time. However, and it's a big however, I have little kids. If I had school age kids work would probably fit more. It's really about your level of energy.

For me personally, I think if you can afford to stay at home, do it. Foster care is still a ''job'', trust and believe that...and it can be just as stressful as any job... but much more rewarding. We have 8 kids in the house and if I were to work outside the home, I KNOW I would be stretching myself too thin. I'd be asking for burnout, so I choose to place my energies where I feel my purpose is!

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Laura, when I started fostering 6 years ago (we took preteens for the first 4 years), I worked full time. It was absolutely crazy!! sure, they went to school, BUT, they also had dental appointments, dr. appointments, counseling, the CW came every week, and visits, and lets not forget the many many times the school called, that one of my girls was sick, threw up, had belly aches, etc, so I had to leave work, and pick them up. Then summer vacation came... arghhhh lol So I cut down to part time, hoping that would help. Well, it didn't. all I did, was run run run, I felt like a hamster in the wheel.... no brakes EVER. Besides the girls I had my own daughter and son still living in the house, several dogs, my husband and of course the house.. cleaning/cooking/shopping.... I continued to work, but was totally wore out. Then, due to the economy, my place of employment closed down... I have been working for them from day 1,helped building them up to were they where, and it was so sad... anyways, so now I could collect unemployment for a couple of years, and it was HEAVEN!!!! all of a sudden I had TIME, not only for my fosters, but also for my teen daughter. I was able to go swimming!!! or read a book!!!! or just sit outside, with a cup of coffee, and enjoy my yard. I never looked for work after that. Sure, we had to cut back financially, but so much good came from me being home. I was happy again, not always stressed. I had time for my husband, and wasn't always tired. do I sometimes miss the interaction with adults and also the fun/stress of working outside the home? Yes. it was my little save haven. MY own little world away from being 'mom' kwim? but then we decided to try to adopt a newborn, so working outside is not going to be an option for me anymore, especially with 2 littles in the house. whatever you do, do NOT FEEL GUILTY! I felt guilty working, and I felt guilty staying at home, lol WOMAN!!! lol

You can do whatever you put your mind too... There is always a debate on the subject. There are a lot of unknowns and if you get a tough placement it would be easier if you could stay home. If I could work part time I would, but I have no choice right now. Good Luck with whatever you decide.

I would stay home and see how thing go. You could always get a job later.

We are having the exact same discussion at home. I found out a week ago tonight that the job I've held for almost six years is no longer mine :confused: We've been licensed for over a month now and I feel our first placement is just around the corner. I'd feel really strange going into an interview right now without knowing the age, needs or schedule of our future child/children. I plan on waiting until they get settled in and I get a better idea of the kind of hours that works best with the hubs, myself and the future kids before applying for anything. It feels strange to me but I'm sure once they get here I will be so busy I won't notice that I'm not working outside of the home for the first time since I was a teen!

We have always planned for me to be a SAHM and I was a SAHW since we got married about 4 years ago until I just HAD to get out of the house after Christmas. (long story short, I was getting depressed all the time) So, even though we will have a foster child (ren), our plans stay the same. When we get a placement I will quit my job. The problem I am having is I set out with an easy job to quit, just working part time, to an old boss (from about 4 years ago...right before I got married) of mine finding me on facebook and offering me a WONDERFUL job without interview or anything...it just fell in my lap. She knows we are starting the foster / adopt process but I have not told her my plans of staying home. My concern is getting a placement for just a short time...when they leave I will be doing nothing again until the next placement....:woohoo: We are hoping to have placements of 0 to 2 so if we got a NB, I would have to stay home....daycare do not take NBs, do they? I have worked in dayare and preschool and my mom is a daycare director and non have taken NBs. Tiff

I am not a foster parent, but I have been reading on these boards a lot. I think the things you may want to consider will be these. Will they pay for daycare or a sitter for you (even if you take the kid to work with you and they only charge you half or nothing you will have to figure out what to do during teacher work days or training, and you can't leave foster kids with just anyone) Will they help transport to appointments and visits? If not, you would be taking lots of time off to transport if the kid needed appointments or had visits. Some kids have very few, other kids end up having a ton, visits with different family members, siblings, if they have bad teeth there may be numerous dental appointments at first, if they are in counseling or have other issues they may have more appointments. If you talk to foster parents in your county or with your agency, you should be able to get a feel for how things work and if it would be worth while for you to try to work or not. I am home with my kids and I love it, but my sister works, she could not stand staying home when she was between jobs. She simply hates staying home. Each family has to decide what works best for them. Best of luck to you.

We have a similar situation...2 in college, one 17yo who lives with her mom & visits regularly & my DD15 who is here all the time. We have our first placements, 6 & 8, and I do not work.I say constantly, I don't know how anyone could work AND do this. People do, though, and they are amazing people to me. If I was working these past 6 months, I would have easily had to take off at least 10 days of work. First, the transition to a new home is traumatic, so you want to provide them with a *little* comfort just by being a "constant" at first. Unless they move in on a Friday, I think it would be almost impossible to get a placement & go to work that day or the next day.Everything takes FOREVER. My kids have no medical issues (other than ADD) but we are at the dr a lot and even with an appointment, it takes at least 2-3 hours. It's ridiculous. HAven't been to the dentist yet, but I'm sure it's the same thing.School breaks = camp. Camp is SO expensive, like over $200 a week for 2 kids. Their board payment would cover camp, but then nothing else. It's different than "your own kids." It just is...they require more time just because.If I were you, I would get a "throw away" job or wait to see how it's going after your first placement arrives & then get a job when you are settled in. I realize that many, many people MUST work, but if you can scrape by, at least at first, I think it is better (for my family at least) that we are all "stable" without the added stress of me being gone for 20-50 hours a week. I couldn't do it.

I worked for the first 2 1/2 years we fostered, and then I quit my job. Quitting was the BEST thing I've ever done. There is just more time to schedule appointments, and get everything accomplished. We had a placement while I was working who had 2 visits/week that I transported to after work, and therapy once a week. We had him in swimming on Saturday mornings, but unfortunately, that visit and therapy schedule, coupled with mine and DH's work schedules, made it so that he couldn't do much else, and I was often completing foster care paperwork at the office. I have been home for over 4 years now, and have never regretted quitting. We certainly do not stay at home all day long. We meet up with friends, we run errands, we go to the park, go to the zoo, go to the pool, etc. I have time to schedule EI appointments for STBAS during the day, I have time to schedule his visits so that I'm not stuck transporting back/forth while I should be making dinner, etc etc. Staying at home really does make it easier. If you have that option financially, and you think you might enjoy it, I would stay at home. If you hate it, you can always go out and get a job.

My husband and I are considering me quitting my job but we're not completely sure. Currently we have 2 FSs who are likely to be TPRed soon and we will be adopting them. I have been running ragged this past year between my full-time job and caring for these boys. I know it would be so much better for us if I didn't work because I would have more time to schedule appts, make phone calls, pick up the boys from school, etc, and I would not have as much stress as I do now.The only things stopping me from quitting my job right now is not knowing for sure what the judge is going to decide since TPR has not been filed yet. We just want to wait until we are absolutely certain before I make a drastic change.

We are in the middle of completing our classes and I am seriously considering quiting my job to stay home. It seems like if you can, why not. These kids need us around as much as possible and it is about them. I am not certain myself as my current job is very flexible and its a huge change to give up half of our income. There are just going to be so many appts, bio visits, home visits, school issues etc... just seems best for the whole family if its possible for one parent to be home. I think I would be stretched far to thin if I had to do it all.

My DH and I both work fulltime. Luckily our schedules are different and I have a more flexible job. That's all to say, I would go batty if I had to stay home. I did take 2wks off when our babies came but was thrilled to be back to work. I just realized I needed the stress of work. I'm soo Type A.

I'm a single fost-adoptive mom. FWIW: if you get kids with multiple prior placements, you may want to consider staying home. They don't need that much of the outside world. If I could have stayed home with mine, they may have healed faster.