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It is possible to place any of the children for adoption into another family. There are several parents on these forums who are living with similar issues in that the older children they have adopted have never adjusted to family life and have had to be removed. Most are posting over on the special needs forum. I do not know the specifics of such an arrangement, but a consult with an attorney who knows family law would be the first step. It might be possible to do a disruption through CPS for the younger children. Such a sad situation. My heart goes out to him.
HRISME: I think you have hit the nail on the head. It really does sounds as though the older child(ren) have RAD and that has possibly caused this situation to occur. Again, it is such a sad situation.