Adopting from a single dying parent while fostering?
I got a call from a friend that someone at there church was trying to find adoptive parents for her 2 and 5 year old before she dies of cancer:confused:

If the children are not in state custody can she just sign the kids over to us in her will or do we still have to go through state process?

And if this were even was to happen would it effect us being able to foster? We just now are finishing up license and should be getting calls starting next week...

Just word of mouth right now so I know this may not even happen but if it starts playing out just wondering what to expect.
It would be a private adoption, and yes, she can sign them over. You'd be required to notify the agency because they need to know your capacity and also about who is in your house.

If this looks like a serious option, I'd ask to be put on hold. At least until you meet the mom and see if you are an option. The last thing that those poor kids will need is dealing with a foster sibling.

Cannot imagine the pain that woman is going through.
Forever Mom to Chubbs

Former Foster Mom to:

Blue Eyes
Princess
Monkey
Couldn't she just name them to you in her will?
Couldn't she just name them to you in her will?
get a lawyer
get a lawyer . Some agencies will transfer your homestudy to a private adoption agency for a fee, BUT some private adoption agencies won't accept a county homestudy.

I'm really not sure that going through CPS and the county is the right avenue. It's not abuse, neglect or "safe haven" but a good lawyer could help you with all of it...

A foster agency will not permit you to have 2 homestudies at once, so tell your agency only once you are 100% sure. Either way, you don't want to ignore an important detail and lose both opportunities----so a lawyer is important.
OhioFosterMom said...
get a lawyer . Some agencies will transfer your homestudy to a private adoption agency for a fee, BUT some private adoption agencies won't accept a county homestudy.

I'm really not sure that going through CPS and the county is the right avenue. It's not abuse, neglect or "safe haven" but a good lawyer could help you with all of it...

A foster agency will not permit you to have 2 homestudies at once, so tell your agency only once you are 100% sure. Either way, you don't want to ignore an important detail and lose both opportunities----so a lawyer is important.


Why would she even need a homestudy for private person to person adoption? I can sign papers and give anyone permission to adopt Chubbs. Just need an atty. they don't need to have a homestudy done.
Forever Mom to Chubbs

Former Foster Mom to:

Blue Eyes
Princess
Monkey
I'm named as guardian for my youngest sibling (still a minor) in my parents will. My understanding is that if anything happens to them, she would come live here without any fuss or much paperwork. That's why people name guardians, right?

Of course, then I'd have to update my home study for fostering to reflect that she's here. And her moving in might be considered a major life event where I would have to wait a while before fostering again or something.
Is the father deceased or had his rights terminated by the courts? If he's simply "out of the picture", his role/rights will have to be addressed.

You don't have to go through CPS for this type of adoption, but you do have to go through a legal process involving attorneys and court.
You would likely still need a homestudy unless you are a relative. You still need a homestudy for a private adoption. You do not need one for guardianship, which is what she could include in her will. A lot of times when a parent dies is actually guardianship that the next parent takes. The other parent is still their parent, their parents have just died. You wouldn't want to terminate her rights or connection.
Considering what I've seen with relatives and clients who died of cancer, this person will likely become unable to care for the kids on her own before she dies. In that case, going through the process of a private adoption may be a good idea, and the adoptive parent(s) could still allow visitation with her until she dies.

You'll definitely need to find out more details before you can make any sort of commitment, such as the Biological father situation, whether there are other extended family members who might want the kids, the specific type of cancer and prognosis.

I wouldn't mention anything to your agency until you find out more.
ProspectiveSingleMom said...
Considering what I've seen with relatives and clients who died of cancer, this person will likely become unable to care for the kids on her own before she dies. In that case, going through the process of a private adoption may be a good idea, and the adoptive parent(s) could still allow visitation with her until she dies.


Depending on the state, there might also be a guardianship option where mom doesn't have to give up her rights before death.
If the children are adopted before the mother dies I'd guess that they would lose their rights to any inheritance or life insurance since they would no longer be her children? That might affect possible SSI benefits they might get as well. Maybe you could take guardianship and complete the adoption later so that the children get all that they are entitled to.

What a horrible situation for that family. I hope that they can find the best outcome for the children and that the mother is able to be at peace with it.
Thanks for the info. The father is deceased. Its very sad, I haven't heard anymore about it so don't know if they will even need us to help with the children but I just feel horrible for them.
NotDoneYet said...
Couldn't she just name them to you in her will?


No. You can name a guardian in the will, but the courts will take that as a guideline, and not follow it blindly.

For example, if there is a biological father, then he will get custody no matter who is named in the will unless he is proven to be completely unfit.

I've heard of a terrible situation where a poor woman dying of cancer was trying to provent her abusive ex-husband from getting the kids when she died. The ex-husband had nothing to do with the kids, but wanted to social security money the kids would have and to just be vindictive jerk. All the mom's relatives would be able to do was wait until the biological father was abusive to the kids and CPS to pull the kids from the house for them to get custody.

In short, kids cannot be willed. They aren't property.
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