adopting and exposures?

I was open to most things, but I ended up adopting my son who had no exposure to anything. I agree; make sure you don't say yes to anything you are not comfortable with. It will only cause you problems down the road and is not fair to the child.

Thank you for your replies, I have heard people say if you want a baby with no exposures is almost next to impossible ... i do realize that i may wait longer is that correct?

You may. Any way you limit what you are open to you *may* increase your wait time, because you will be shown to fewer expectant moms (ie. if you are only open to caucasian children, you will not be shown to non-CC emoms or those expecting biracial children. Limiting substance exposure means you won't be shown to emoms who have used any substances. Since the emom will decide from the profiles she is shown, you could be picked by the first emom you are shown to. With adoption, you never know.I said I would be open to considering anything. For example, if an emom had used alcohol heavily throughout pregnancy, I would not have wanted to be shown to that particular emom, but If I said no exposure period, I would not have had the opportunity to be shown to an emom who had a couple of drinks before she knew she was pregnant.

That makes sense.. i wonder if you can say limited exposure or if you can say if you did things before you found out but stopped when they knew they were pregnat? If they pick you , do you get all the information from the social worker before accepting?

i guess i wonder if we are not comfortable with Drug or alcohol exposure if we would ever get a baby?

I had three drinks before I knew I was pregnant, I didn't and don't use drugs, I don't smoke. I took a few tylenol when I was pregnant. My son did have issues when he was born, he wouldn't have been the child for you, BUT they weren't due to exposure. I know many, many women that don't use who place their children for adoption. Do yourself a favor and try to forget all of the lifetime stereotypes. They only apply here and there.

Yes. Neither of my children were drug or alcohol exposed. My son's birthmother did smoke during her pregnancy, but my daughter's did not. I recommend looking into what different drugs actually do to the developing fetus, and what effects last into infancy and beyond. I know that on our home study application, we had several pages of "risk factors" that we could "accept", "deny", or "discuss." For example, we had a "Drug Exposure" section that included separate lines for cocaine, meth, Rx drugs, marijuana, and so on. For some drugs we put "deny", for some "accept", but for most, "discuss." I hope this helps! :hippie:

First of all, good luck on your adoption journey. It can be a wild ride so hold on! You can be very specific about the exposure you are comfortable with. The only exception we found was in regards to smoking. Almost every agency we spoke with required us to be open to cigarette usage, so you may have to accept that as a fact. This does not mean you will get an emom who smokes. Never agree to anything you do not want to potentially deal with just because someone is telling you your wait will be longer. They really do not know how long it will take for someone to choose you to adopt their baby. This is your adoption and you should always be comfortable with the situation. You may be super stressed at times because adoption is stressful but you should feel good about everything you have done in your adoption journey.On a side note, please remember that not every emom will be 100% honest so you may get matched with someone who claims they did everything "right" and the baby is born with exposure issues. I only tell you this so you understand that there really is nothing absolute about adoption. You could get a great emom and have a wonderfully flawless adoption. You may think you are matched with a wonderful emom and it turns into a nightmare. My point is, try to enjoy the journey and say yes to whatever feels right for your family. In the end, you will have an experience that will forever change your life.I do hope I have not offended anyone.