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Hi all, I'm new to this forum, but a long time adoptive parent of two foster children. They were both very young when we got them (infant and toddler), but came from a family history of neglect and sexual abuse (other sibs). The oldest is our son, age 17, and the younger is our daughter, age 15. Our son is diagnosed with autism (PDD-NOS) and learning disabilities. Ever since he reached puberty, he has had a interest in girls - which is normal. However, the past year or so, his interest has gravitated to young girls and now, recently, to his sister. I have suspicions of a personality disorder (bio dad is diagnosed with anti-social PD). We have contacted a counselor, but are wondering if there is anything else we should do? Do we need to disclose this to the school or anyone else? We are crushed that our son is acting out toward his sister. This is the first time we are dealing with this. I would appreciate any comments from parents that have experience in this area. Thanks so much.
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I'm following up with some more comments because I am still trying to make sense of our ds' behavior. Our ds has been trying to find a girlfriend since he was a freshman in HS, but none of the HS girls show an interest in him. His autism really gets in the way of his socializing normally with any of the kids. When he started having a love interest in a 3rd grader and a 4th grader, we put a stop to it. I tried to pass it off as him being clueless within his autism and low IQ. Now I'm not so sure. The sexual interest in his sister makes me think we need to add some mental disorder to the list of acronyms we already have for him. The thing is, he has had many opportunties prior to now to "prey" on his sister and it hasn't happened (she would have told us, if so). He is almost 18. If he does have a depraved mind, wouldn't it have shown up much before now? In all other ways he is a great kid - very friendly and liked by all his teachers. He tries hard and has zero behavior problems at school. I hate to think we are starting down the wrong road just as he is ready to be released into the world. Ugh.
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It's also hard because you don't know if they've seen the abuse. In my case, P was abused and there was talk that all of the kids had seen/watched pornography. I've kept a close eye on him and he was in an RTC. There haven't been any accusations since he's been home (6 years). He's now 18 and in a relationship. Good luck!!
It's been about 6 months since the "incident" on Valentines Day. Nothing more has happened since that time, but I suspected that it was an isolated event with his sister. At first we kept our guard up and gave our daughter a key to lock her room. She doesn't use the key and we stopped watch-dogging him. Even so, we still don't trust him to appreciate moral boundaries or make good judgments. The older he gets, the more we see the resemblance of the personality and attitude of his biological parents. It's frustrating.