Ten years and the search goes on.

Hello all, I was adopted 32 years ago with my half brother, we both had the same Bmother but not the same bi fathers, about 8 years ago I made contact with my Bfather, he was in prison my entire life for murder, of a little boy that was 16 months old, I never felt he was trust worthy or honest, and found out only a year ago about the childs age from an online sworn statement. I made contact with the mother of the child he killed, I felt the need to say I was sorry I needed to let this women know that We may share the same blood, but I did not let the generation repeat itself. Every time I have tried to find BMom I hit a wall, all I know is her first name Kathleen, I have heard numerous times over the years of a few other Bsibs and I'm would love one day to locate them. There is so much more to my story, but I needed to start with this introduction. Any advice on any of this would be great. I find myself still searching but yet still very broken for what information i have turned up thus far. I know we all just want to know where we came from, but sometimes maybe it was best not knowing. I wonder what the percent of children adopted have abandonment feelings, even though I was raised in a loving home. I still have this emptiness. I Know my Brother feels the same. Thanks for reading sorry for the rambling.