One step closer! But nervous! Why?

Hi Valerie, It's all normal. It's one thing to think about it but another to have a number in your hand while you're standing in front of a phone. Take the pressure off yourself. Do something else for a while and see how you feel later.

Thank you! :) I know it's what I really want to do and a reunion would be amazing but I'm so nervous. The responses I've gotten from my mom until recently have always been "oh no, theres no way you will be able to find her." And part of me is scared the lawyer will say the same thing maybe? But Adoption laws have changed since I was adopted 25 years ago.

Not only have adoption laws changed, but also the way people find each other has changed. Some people are having success with using Facebook for that now. Do a google news search for "adoptee birthparent facebook" and you will pull up articles about it. If the lawyer can't help you, contact the state. Get on adoption registries. There are lots of things you can do... even DNA tests! Good luck with your search.

Not to be a voice of disension, but why do you expect to get her name from the attorney? Was it an open adoption? Has your adoptive mom maintained contact thru the attorney? With the 25 yr comment- this may certainly be the case. In closed adoptions, most attorneys are the last folks to offer assistance. I wish you the best- keep posting and letting folks here know what steps your taking -we can certainly point you in direction of next steps or resources as you proceed.

I would agree that the attorney that handled the adoption 25 years ago may not be the best source of information, but it probably can't hurt to ask them. You'll never know until you try it, and the possibility of not getting much information from them would make me less nervous about calling them. Look at this call not as getting in touch with your birth mom, but seeing if the attorney can or will help you with that process. That way it's about the attorney, not your search for your b-mom. Everything you describe is very normal. A search is a lot of unknown territory, and unknowns are scary. Take it one step at a time. And I don't think the attorney will tell you "we can't search for her." You can still search. The attorney may tell you that THEY can't or won't search for her, but that doesn't mean that YOU can't. And don't let people telling you "oh no, theres no way you will be able to find her" discourage you. It's difficult, yes. But not impossible. Does your a-family have copies of court documents from the attorney's office? That's what put my search on the fast track since it had some names and other information. If so, that would probably be of more value than speaking with attorney. Best, PADJ

I don't expect him to give me her name. I'm almost positive he probably wouldn't because it was all private. I'm just wondering if he could give me info on how to start the search. I know that he has handled a lot of adoptions :)