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Years ago I was a moderator for Adoption Forums, and Adoption Press published my first book, "One Birthmothers Emotional Truth on Healing, Recovery, and Success." After a very long sabatical and a life changing divine moment just an hour ago ... I've decided to come back!
Who knew that something I'd written over ten years ago would wind up all over the Internet and be used for raising money for Birthmother Support? Well, I didn't know until an hour ago! Searching for my own YouTube video to upload to my blog, I discovered it. Divine moments of grace exist to remind us that in our journey, in our vulnerability of reaching out ... nothing is ever in vain.
I relinquished into what was going to be a semi-open adoption, but as most of you know, when "open" adoptions first started, this wasn't a legally binding agreement. The last year I was moderating these forums, I still had several years to go before I could even try to find my son.
I found him, six years ago.
I'd love to share the story, if you'd like to read it [URL="http://ravensinkwell.wordpress.com/2013/03/05/the-power-of-vulnerability/"]here[/URL], of my day today, and what brought me back "home" to my favorite birthmom community.
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Well there have been definite highs and lows thats for sure!!! My daughter is now 34yrs old, married with a two year old son...a wee darling!
I think the most positive aspect is that my three raised kids got to meet her when they were quite young so she has been in their lives for a long time and is a part of their history! My 22yr old daughter has been living with her while she has been studying for the past year and looking after her son for two days a week in lieu of board, so that has been interesting. I guess they have had the ups and downs that all sisiters have!!! I get on well with adoptive mum and dad although they do not live together any more. There are definite barriers but I am at peace with how things are even though it is not as much as I would have liked. She came to my mums 80th birthday last year which was pretty special as all the uncles and cousins were there. Lots of stories...I used to be susieloo so under that name is plenty of my history!!! Just a subtle change!!!
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Hello ladies.. I stopped by today to see who else might be writing around this forums anymore. :grouphug: I joined in here July of 2004 and was contacted a month later by the Catholic Charities social worker that had completed our adoption..It was a totally closed adoption. He was 28 at the time, contact was initiated by him via medical record request. . It was a long 8 years ago.. so much has happened in between those years. ( I had kept in contact with CC for the first 26 years. My on file letters and photo's were released after contact was made to him. That was so heartwarming for him to get, and they made me copies as well. ) My birthson lived with us for 8 mos. and in our town for 3 more years.(He was raised in the midwest, moved out west for 10 years and back to the midwest after reunion.) We kept in close family contact, he was one of us early on.. And we were in good relationships with many of his adoptive family members. He committed suicide during a stressful time in his life Oct. 10,2011. He and I had talked 6 hours over 3 days before it happened. It's broke my heart to know how the hospital handled his information that I provided in advance of his arrival. It firms up my belief that adoption has so many twists and turns that we can't always even trust our own emotions on how to deal with the rollercoaster it puts us through. Thankfully, he let me photo document his life in our area. His amom has shared his childhood scrapbooks with us, allowing me to copy what I wanted. :wings: I was given his journal after he died. Bittersweet, as it was an engraved gift to him when we first met. The leather binder was missing, but his words insightful that he had journaled for those 5 years in our midst. I'm left with a lot of emails, letters, and memento's. And the hope of meeting my birth-grandson someday,17 yr, this year. My bson was a bfather as well. My book is in my head, always encouraged to write our events, some were just mind boggling the way we connected at times. :3d: I was part of the Mari-Mari forums when we were around here and a few others and I remember we had to move the forums to another site at one time. :confused: Take care ya'll, it's different than facebook. I just wish it was a little more secure for posting.. as a google search brings us up so fast.. some times we forget that it's public when we post. :gnome: Sajofo