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I placed a registration on a site looking to find my b-mom. A very nice and truly professional lady contacted me offering to help. I guess she is called a search angel. I gave her my non ID info (copy) and she indicated that some of the circumstances would be very difficult to work through. I am trying to help but on my end there is literally NO one in the traid that is either alive, or if alive, aware.
I contacted a pay to find site...asking if they could simply look and tell me if there was hope here..or none. I don't want to waste anyone's time. I don't want to waste my money either paying someone to do something that quite likely cannot be done. All I asked was review the info -that I gave them - and tell me if there is enough threads loose to unravel the sweater.
Is it considered "bad" to check with others - is the first person that you talk to - sort of on your case..and it is viewed as a breach of ettiquite to ask elsewhere for so much as an opinion??
The person resonded and called me a Idiot....so I assume I did something wrong?
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Hmmm That sure doesnt sound very nice. Search angel etiquette? Well, I do find it disconcerting to offer to help someone who seems to just be starting a search, spend time searching and ruling out prospective b moms as that is what is involved in many cases, only to find out later that someone from another group has already done that and they neglected to tell me that. It doesnҒt sound like that is what you did though. I do often refer adoptees to other groups when I reach a road block / dead end but tell them to be sure to share what I have already done AND I always welcome a second pair of eyes. Had your search angel hit a road block? Could she have thought that you had a good chance of finding with the information that you had and paying someone was unnecessary??
Wolfie64
I placed a registration on a site looking to find my b-mom. A very nice and truly professional lady contacted me offering to help. I guess she is called a search angel. I gave her my non ID info (copy) and she indicated that some of the circumstances would be very difficult to work through. I am trying to help but on my end there is literally NO one in the traid that is either alive, or if alive, aware.
I contacted a pay to find site...asking if they could simply look and tell me if there was hope here..or none. I don't want to waste anyone's time. I don't want to waste my money either paying someone to do something that quite likely cannot be done. All I asked was review the info -that I gave them - and tell me if there is enough threads loose to unravel the sweater.
Is it considered "bad" to check with others - is the first person that you talk to - sort of on your case..and it is viewed as a breach of ettiquite to ask elsewhere for so much as an opinion??
The person resonded and called me a Idiot....so I assume I did something wrong?
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It was another search-angle, or a pay to find place that did not make that clear, that was rude. The lady that has helpped me so far has been really nice. She is stuck I think - as am I because my non-ID file was pretty small. Your response idicates that angels work in a network- sharing information and generally working together as opposed to one "owning" your case. I guess this person was just misunderstanding and rude - or just plain rude.
Thanks
OH, that does make me feel better..that it was the pay to find place person that was so rude and not your volunteer search angel. Unfortunately a good many of the paid searchers are in it just for the money and when you think about, are probably not happy with all of the volunteers who search for free horning in on their business. Most of the reunion sites, like this one, donŒt welcome paid searchers. The search angels dont necessarily work together or in a network, but instead know of each other and many volunteer on multiple sites.
Wolfie64
It was another search-angle, or a pay to find place that did not make that clear, that was rude. The lady that has helpped me so far has been really nice. She is stuck I think - as am I because my non-ID file was pretty small. Your response idicates that angels work in a network- sharing information and generally working together as opposed to one "owning" your case. I guess this person was just misunderstanding and rude - or just plain rude.
Thanks