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For some reason I always felt that I didn't belong. In a school science project we did in jr. high we were to match the genetic traits of both parents to see what sort of children they would have. I didn't match either parent. They were blonde hair/blue eyes and black hair/grey eyes. I was a redhead with green eyes. But the way I found out was that I ended up working for the State Dept. of Public Health in the birth and death certificate department. I looked up a copy of my birth certificate on the microfilm and could tell right away it was an adoption certificate. Everything was typed out and there were no signatures on it. Even the certificate number was typed instead of machine printed - which was one of the jobs where I worked. Of course it was really not that big of a surprise. The really funny part is when I was "officially told" by my mother. I was already married with children and we were in the middle of yet another big fight. She yelled at me that I was adopted. Well all I could say was "Yeah, I already know that".
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Our high school genetics classes tended to be very basic and flawed. We have to remember that we have both dominant and recessive genes. A woman with blonde hair/blue eyes and a man with black hair/gray eyes could have a child who is a redhead with green eyes.... I know this was not the point of your post, but I just mention this because I don't want a bunch of people to 100% believe that they're adopted solely based on hair and eye colors.I'm so sorry that your parents didn't tell you that you were adopted. And, for your mother to reveal the secret to you in anger is unconscionable. I'm so glad that you had already discovered on your own that you were adopted. Otherwise, that would have been quite the bomb for your mother to drop during an argument.
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Hi DeeDee1961, I would like to tell you that you are very strong and sensible as you seem to be careful about your adoption process. I would like to wish you best wishes for your future and for your family by coming out of this issue. I hope everyone should be strong like you to face any issue.
Hi DeeDee1961,I did the same science project in high school and felt that it was a reflection on the teacher's poor teaching that it seemed more likely that the dog was "born in" (brown eyes, curly hair, short) and I was adopted! I stumbled on the truth after both parents had died and I was 50 years old. I've learned a bit about my biological history and I've met a few people who "knew" about me but prided themselves on being able to keep a secret because that's what people used to do. What it comes down to is that you are who you are and your life is what you've made of it. There are biological factors that you deserve to know but that might not happen. It might not sound very nice, but perhaps you can rejoice in the fact that there are some genes (medically and psychologically speaking) you don't share!
Hey DeeDee, I read your post and wanted to add to it.You indicate that you knew you were adopted long before you were able to know definitively.In chatting with many adoptees, they all seem to have some inkling that there was a family secret. Either they felt as tho they were an "outsider" or just simply "different from" their peers.I always knew there was a family secret I didn't know. I still felt "different from" my peers and not as an equal.But when the secret was revealed at age 7, then i understood. I guess the word we should put out is that no matter how guarded the secret may be, at some point it nearly always becomes known. Some are late discovery adoptees, but nonetheless, the secret is out.I wish you the best.
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DeeDee1961
The really funny part is when I was "officially told" by my mother. I was already married with children and we were in the middle of yet another big fight. She yelled at me that I was adopted. Well all I could say was "Yeah, I already know that".