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Is it just me or is the whole premise of this RUDE? My partner has several out of state relatives and twice now we have received "baby shower by mail" invitations. If you haven't heard of this, it's basically a way of asking for gifts, IMHO. The invitation (and I use that word loosely) says something to the affect of "X and Y are having a baby! We wish you could join us for a day of celebration, but since you can't please send the host a hand decorated onesie and a gift card to one of the following stores." The host (hahaha) then collects all the gifts and either mails or delivers them to the parents. There is no actual party. I get it- when people move out of state they leave behind friends and family who would normally attend these kind of events. But isn't it a little off putting to just send a request to send gifts to someone you haven't seen or had contact with in years? Haven't the couple met other people in their new location to host a real shower for them? What's the etiquette for this? Can my child's next birthday party be by mail? I wouldn't have to entertain people, set out food, clean up afterwards or in any way interact with people who were kind enough to send my daughter a gift. Am I just a grinch or is this a little crazy?
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I haven't heard of this before either.....however.... I have a cousin that lives on the other side of the country from me. We see this side of the family maybe every few years or so. I got an invitation for her baby shower....... Hm.....obviously I was not flying down there just for a baby shower, so i was guessing it was a subtle hint for a baby shower gift.
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I agree 100%. I thought I had seen it all this past summer when we got an invitation to a wedding and in the invitation was a beautiful insert but when I read it, it was something called a Wishing Well Instructions. Basically, they made a poem about how since they were living together for so long they need anything so there was no registry. But that there would be a "well" where we could leave a monetary gift. I was appalled. U are asking me for money? No pretty card or cute rhyme could make up for that. So tongue in cheek, I got a card, made a rhyme, about how we wished them joy, love, happiness, and since they didn't need anything, we made a donation in their name to a charity. My husband was upset with me but come on. Really? Does manners count for anything anymore?
My mom did a recipe shower for my SIL last summer that worked out slick for those of us that couldn't travel to the wedding and the shower. She mailed us all two recipe cards and asked us to write down our favorite recipes and mail them back in the self addressed stamped envelope. THAT is a cool idea for a shower for people that can't travel. To be asked for a specific gift card.... ummmm... In my family we have a running joke about money trees. Way back when I was in grade in school my grampa's neighbor unexpectedly had a baby after her other kids were grown. Anyway, they had a money tree shower for her and Grampa thought it was the tackiest thing as did mom's best friend. So for the longest time we gave a "money tree" as an inside family joke. Mom took a tree branch and glued pennies to ribbons and tied them on and that tree made the rounds lol.
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allwhohope
I agree 100%. I thought I had seen it all this past summer when we got an invitation to a wedding and in the invitation was a beautiful insert but when I read it, it was something called a Wishing Well Instructions. Basically, they made a poem about how since they were living together for so long they need anything so there was no registry. But that there would be a "well" where we could leave a monetary gift. I was appalled. U are asking me for money? No pretty card or cute rhyme could make up for that. So tongue in cheek, I got a card, made a rhyme, about how we wished them joy, love, happiness, and since they didn't need anything, we made a donation in their name to a charity. My husband was upset with me but come on. Really? Does manners count for anything anymore?
2Mamas2loveU: Huh! I didn't know that they made onesies large enough for adult hosts to wear!lolPerhaps that can be your reply, "Although we found it an interesting request, we looked for a onesie in Margie's size, but were unable to find one, thus must send our regrets."
We wish you could join us for a day of celebration, but since you can't please send the host a hand decorated onesie and a gift card to one of the following stores."
Last week I got an invitation to a wedding shower. I did not know the bride or groom. Asked hubby and he didn't. I called my MIL and it turns out it was my husband's dad's aunt's granddaughter whom my MIL even said she had only met once. I think reaching that far into the family tree to people you don't know is tacky!And I think that they should have just sent you the shower invite and let you decide about a gift!!
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alys1
2Mamas2loveU: Huh! I didn't know that they made onesies large enough for adult hosts to wear! lol Perhaps that can be your reply, "Although we found it an interesting request, we looked for a onesie in Margie's size, but were unable to find one, thus must send our regrets."
Tacky. I am old school with etiquette. I cringe when people include where someone is registered on invitations. It used to be...the guest would inquire about that info IF they wanted...when they RSVPd. We were invited to a shower (for a second baby of the same gender as the first which is also tacky!) and in the invitation it said "in lieu of a card, please include a baby book with a personal message". Really??? I mean that seemed so pushy to me. A book is going to cost at least twice as much as a card, and to "require" it? Ugh. Needless to say we didn't go. I don't think it is wrong to invite out of town guests you have been close to. I know people in my family wanted invites to keep... but to demand a certain type of gift is not cool.
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I was JUST having this conversation with my mother on Friday!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My SIL, who just had a baby (and showers) 2 years ago for my niece, is having 2 (!!!!!) showers at the end of the month. I emphatically told my mom I thought that was the tackiest thing i'd ever heard and I would NOT be attending either one. I will buy the new baby a gift when it's born, but it will be a cold day in hell before I attend 2 baby showers for a subsequent child not 2 1/2 full years from her last showers. Ugh. Edited to add: My mother is mad at me now. lol
TACKY is right!!! The onsie idea is cute....IF they would have sent a plain white one for you to decorate and send back. That would have been creative and fun! As far as the book idea goes though... I actually LOVE that idea. IMHO, book can be cheaper than most cards. Cards usually just get put in a babybook or even thrown away. Books are a treasure, that can be cherrished forever. Have you noticed the price of cards anymore? They're usually around $5-$6. You can find gently used childrens books for that cheap or even cheaper at second hand stores. I'm probaby biased though because I had the same idea at my God daughter's baby shower. I requested children's books with messages written in them. ;)