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After years of *wanting* to search for my birthmother but not knowing how, I was finally given a starting point - a name - by my adoptive parents. I began looking for information this week. A few days of the highs and lows of searching yielded results quicker than I could have hoped. Oh, the beauty of the Internet.
Unfortunately, what I found is that I am too late. My birthmother passed away, too young, a few years ago.
I'm dealing with the emotional fallout of this... dare I call it a loss? I don't really know what to say, how to feel...
But I'm also considering (after giving myself some time to get a handle on my emotions) reaching out to my birthmother's sister, whose information I also stumbled upon in my search.
If anyone has reached out to an extended birth family member and can offer suggestions on how to introduce myself to, well, to someone who may not even know of my existence, I'd really appreciate hearing about others' experiences.
Thanks.
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I helped a friend to locate her birth mother. Same thing. Her mother had passed away a number of years ago. I got her mom's death certificate and it listed a sibling. I tracked the sibling down and she called and talked to him. He knew all about her, as did the rest of the siblings. You might be surprised. The sister probably knew of you. Just make sure you have have the right person. Call and just explain your situation and ask her. I wish you the best!
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I think you should tread very lightly just in case she doesn't know about your existence but as fmdw said, as her sister she probably knew. Find the courage to get in touch and wait for a response. In my experience when the other side don't get back to you it's because there are other people involved that could get hurt. You could mention when you get in touch that 'you understand if it's too difficult to communicate' so her sister doesn't feel worried or anxious about what do do.