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Hi! We are adopting a little guy from foster care. He just turned 2, and we have had him for 4 months. He has 16p11.2 deletion, cervical spinal stenosis, cortical visual impairment, torticollis, abnormal corpus collosum, exotropia, 100% g-tube fed, and pulmonary issues when he's sick. I was told that list by his foster mom at the adoption picnic I saw him at last September. So here we were, expecting all these problems...and all we can see is the torticollis, g-tube, and delayed speech and delayed walking. He was born in a motel and went straight from the NICU to a very loving foster home. He is a happy little guy, compassionate, and smart! He has not gotten sick since visitations with siblings ended :clap:
Our little guy (I) became a big brother on Easter Sunday. All I know about the baby is that it's a boy, weighed 4 lbs, and might have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. The county had already found a concurrent family for the baby before he was born, and I think we were the last to know about the baby. With as strongly as they have pushed for us to take (I) to continue visitations with his teenaged half-siblings (who he never lived with), it makes me annoyed at them for choosing NOT to place the baby with us. Even (I)'s foster mom said she was shocked when she found out we didn't have the baby.
We live 2 hours away from the bio mom, but that didn't stop us from making transition visits with (I). (I) was TPR'd on May 7, so adoption is not final. My husband is nervous that filing paperwork (JV 290) with the court re. the baby would cause problems with the adoption of (I). And our agency doesn't want to burn any bridges with the county. I just want to do the right thing. If they want the baby to be with his brother, then we would be interested in taking the baby. If they outright say NO, then I'll let it go. I would at least like to be considered, or told why they didn't ask us in the first place. (As a matter of fact, they did nothing but discourage us from the baby. Three times "You don't want this baby." "Too far to drive for visitations." "Too stressful." "Baby is with a good family." etc.).
Does anybody know about this kind of situation? And when we asked (I)'s SW about the baby, she was tight lipped. Am I really not allowed to know the baby's health status? What if I were the baby's aunt asking about the baby? Wouldn't they give that person the info?
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A JV-290 is a caregiver information sheet. Aren't you wanting to file a 388 motion or form JV-180 for a motion to change placement? Personally I feel that you have a right to the baby as you are adopting his sibling. Siblings have a right to bond and be placed together and I'm shocked you weren't considered first. I don't feel like this could hurt your adoption and I don't particularly care about your agency wanting to take the easy road. Your concern is legitimate. I'd go for it. That's me personally. I'm used to making waves when it's for the best interest of the child. Just know though that FAS is no joke and you may be raising a severely delayed/special needs child. Or, he may do just fine. It's a gamble. Last question though, how long has the other family had baby?
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Oops. Yes, a JV180. I got the numbers mixed up.The baby was born Mar. 31st, so they have had the baby for 2 1/2 months.Ugh! Our CW from our agency just called and said he wants to discuss what their adoption supervisor had to say about the info I printed ([url=http://www.advokids.org/sibling-information.html]Advokids: Sibling Information[/url] Welfare and Institutions Code section 16002). So, not only would I have to take issue with the county, but I'd have to take issue with my agency? All this strife just because I'm trying to do the right thing. Maybe this is a closed door and I should let it go. Just wish my heart could let it go that easily.
I don't undertand why your agency isn't backing you up. I really don't. I feel like my FFA would be right behind me trying to help me. Have you contacted the SW for the baby? Have you told that social worker you want placement? It shouldn't effect your adoption but you could always finalize and then go for the baby.
I don't know who the SW for the baby is. My LO's SW was supposed to forward our contact info to the baby's SW so they could contact us, but that hasn't happened. She has discouraged us from this baby, so it makes it hard to approach her about it. They do encourage visiting, but not placement. I have hesitated on visiting because 1)Seeing this baby may make me want it even more, and 2)In my heart I know I'd be going to visit the baby to see if I want to take it. How am I supposed to look the foster parents (who are planning to adopt the baby) in the eye knowing that I might be taking their (hoped for) baby from them?I am waiting to hear back from our LO's lawyer, his FM thought they probably have the same lawyer. I was told that if I'm going to do this, I had better act "NOW." But I've already been waiting 2 weeks for that lawyer to call me back, despite have called in 4 more times. I don't really know where else to turn. This really only started as a fact finding mission to learn more about the baby's health because the county won't tell me how the baby is doing, except to say it has issues. So did/does my son, but he's no problem at all.
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Just heard from the lawyer's office. The answer is "NO" to the baby. She said it's because of the distance. She said that even if they filed a JV180, because the baby is already in an adoptive home, that the judge wouldn't agree to an out-of-county placement. I decided to look on Facebook to see if I could find the oldest sister...and I did. There on her profile were not only pictures of my little guy, but also a photo of a VERY cute new baby. I can't be positive, but I think it was the baby brother. It was hard to look at that picture, especially since I was expecting the baby to look sickly.I appreciate your input and taking the time to listen to me.