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I'm hoping I can find someone here that may be able to help me.
About nine years ago, I ended a bad relationship. He then forced me to have sex with him which resulted in a pregnancy. The last time I heard from him was in the courtroom while getting a protective order against him. This was active for two years. He knew I was pregnant
with his child, but he has never tried to contact me since.
I am now engaged to the love of my life and he wants to adopt my eight year old daughter. She loves him and calls him daddy. She wants him to be her "real" dad.
Her biological father found out that my fianc is wanting to adopt and now he is trying to contact me. What can I do to get the adoption going as soon as possible without having to hire an attorney?
Also, we live in Indiana and both have good respectable jobs in public safety but we do not have a lot of extra income.
Her biological father lives in Kentucky and is still a dead beat, drug addict with no job.
I am afraid he is going to cause trouble and I don't want my daughter going through that.
PLEASE HELP!!!
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Her biological father found out that my fianc is wanting to adopt and now he is trying to contact me.
If you aren't in contact and haven't been for 8 years.... how did he find out that your fiance wants to adopt?
Since his parental rights haven't been established(?) and therefore haven't been terminated.... your daughter is not legally able to be adopted.... would be my guess. You probably can GET his parental rights terminated, based on abandonment. This will vary by state..... but if he has not had any contact in 8 years and has paid NO child support or financial assistance etc I would think you have a case.
However - I think you might need a lawyer. If you can't afford one.... can you go to legal aid? Or find out if there is a law school near you that would do a legal clinic?
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He found out through his brother who is a police officer. We live in a small town where word travels quite fast. With my fiance being a firefighter, I am in EMS and his brother being an officer, it doesn't take long to hear things. My ex has always had the option of contacting me since my address never changed. He just chose not to.
I hadn't thought about legal clinics. I'll look into that. Thank you.
I am a resident in the state of Kentucky and adopted out of state because the laws in Kentucky are not adoption friendly. Who is listed on the birth certificate as the father? Is there one? If he is listed, then your daughter will not be eligible for adoption without a termination of his rights. Legal clinics will only give advice on the steps to take but you MUST have a lawyer for adoption as there is a court proceeding.
-allwhohope-
There is no father listed on the birth certificate. The protective order was in place before she was born. And like I said before, he has always known where to find me and his grandmother who raised him attends the same church as my parents and always has. I met him through his grandmother. He has spent the last eight years in and out of jail and getting into drug deals with gang members that invaded his grandmas house looking for him. This is definately not someone I want around my daughter!
No defintely not! However, in the eyes of the law, his crinimal record does not erase his paternal rights. I am not well versed in Indiana law but it sounds like in Kentucky where a birth father does not have to be listed on a birth certificate. (In some states, even in cases of rape, birth fathers have be identified). I know that in some cases, the married spouse is considered the "father" even if there is a seperate biological father of the child at the time of the birth. After birth, I am not sure how that works.
Sadly (due to your financial situation you have previous spoken with), you will have to have an attorney since you will petition the court to terminate ones rights and adopt. When the time comes for that - Google quad attorneys (AAAA). they are accredited adoption attorneys. I STRONGLY encourage you to find one in your area so that you can get the BEST representation for you and those that know their stuff. The fact that he (as you stated) has a criimal history and is not someone you want your daughter around isn't enough to terminate his rights. However, the fact that he has never provided care, financial or emotional support, etc may be. I wish you luck but your answer involves an attorney.
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I'm not going to promise that you will be able to get help this way, but given the situation and your history with him, I would contact the nearest domestic violence shelter. Many times they have access to grants that help pay for legal defense for cases just like this. I know that even though the shelter that I run could not pay the legal fees, I do have access to a network of attorneys that do this kind of thing pro bono.
I am in Indy and also in EMS. Are you close to Indy? Is your fiance a member of Firefighter's Local 416? They often have fund raisers at the union hall to raise money for members who have fallen on hard times. If he's not in the 416's then his local union might have similar programs. They may be able to help. There is an attorneys office on the northeast side of Indy that does nothing but adoption. They are AAAA certified. I can pm you the name if you'd like. I have friends all over Indiana who have adopted so I can ask around about attorneys closer to you. Good Luck!