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A friend of the family recently asked me if I would be interested in adopting the child she is carrying. I said yes. We haven't yet talked on the phone. She has expressed her desire to include me in her doctor's appointments and has expressed gratitude for my willingness to support her decision. This is the second child she is placing for adoption. I want to be as supportive and senstive to her needs as I can be and even support her if she decides to raise her child in the end. I'm nervous about talking to her. I don't want to say or do anything that is going to make this harder on her. I am 100% for an open adoption and that is what she wants too. Does anyone have advice about what not to say or how to proceed causing the least amount of hardship for her?
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I don't know where you are at in the "process" but ten weeks seems awfully early to be "matched" with someone. Both for her and for you. Is there a way you could talk to her and say you would be interested if she decides four or five (or more) months from now that she still wants to make an adoption plan? I just think it would be hard to get "invested" this early...esp. in a friend of the family type situation. Do you know why she is not placing the baby with the sibling's adoptive parents? (Just kind of wondering...). I don't mean to be a downer, bc maybe when you talk, it is really a good situation! And maybe she really has no other support and you could be a good support for her. Good luck with everything!
I've told her that there is no pressure from me. If she changes her mind I will support her. The sibbling's adoptive parents have not kept their promise of an open adoption and She knows I am adopting my teenager. I really want what is best for her and her family even if it means I don't get the baby. I know it will be hard but this is already hard for her. If a parent is able to and wants to parent their child they should get to.