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We have bit the bullet and with Little Man's recent behavior issues at school we went ahead and booked an APPOINTMENT. You know..... that kind of appointment. There is a fantastic international adoption clinic which is very local to us and they did all the physicals and followups when we got home. They also offer a 1 year developmental assessment which is done over two visits. Hopefully, through this, we can get a clue about how to make Little Man feel better and more confident so he doesn't have to keep acting out in school. That's the good part. The bad part is me and has nothing to do with Little Man. I fear being told that I'm doing a horrible job and that I already ruined him for life. I fear having a label placed upon him that will follow him and cause others to prejudge him. I fear that I will be defensive and stubborn (I do know myself). I fear that DH will be having his own issues and won't be able to help me or I him. I just have to wrap my head around the fact that there may be issues from institutionalization and deal with them the same way I treat his physical issues. It is what it is. I'm afraid I'll go into denial. Can someone tell me if we are doing the right thing or not?
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First of all, remind yourself that this is about him and not an evaluation of your parenting. Think what kind of parent you would be if you failed to get him needed help because of your fears. Your next job will be to use any help you get while refusing to let him be labeled and placed in a box. Remember that children tend to live up or down to our expectations of them.
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Let me start out by saying that I have not adopted internationally. However I am a parent to a child with multiple issues do to the neglect that he suffered early in life. My little guy had a developmental assessment done, a little over a year ago. I was so happy that it was done. Not only did it validate my concerns behaviorally, but it also helped explain some of the physical issues that he was having. We were able to get help for his issues. It also gave us some support. It was nice to have a dr listen to our concerns and come up with a plan to address them. They have also helped us with getting what he needs from the school system. I guess what I am trying to say, is that it may be scary and yes, they may find so issues that need to be addressed, but in the long run it should help your child and family.