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Hi everyone, This question has probably been posed many times before, but after a couple years lurking here I don't recall seeing it. My wife and I just got licensed (finally! After a really long and drawn out home study we had no idea our county would be so slow). So now I have my first question! It֒s been on my mind for a long time, but I figure now that its possible we could have a placement, IҒll ask. We live in Maryland, which has a pretty generous stipend (from what Ive seen of other places). I donҒt know for sure, but I imagine there will be months when we wont need to use all of the stipend, especially if the kids are younger and not into camps and sports and all that yet. So, I was thinking it would be nice to be able to set up a bank account for them where we can put any unspent stipend money each month. I would also like to use it as a tool for teaching saving and attaining goals (e.g. saving part or all of allowance/birthday money/etc over time to buy a skateboard or something). Then, if they stay or go, they will have a little bit of money and perhaps will keep it and continue saving over the years. We donҒt necessarily plan to adopt, so in the most likely scenario they would be leaving our home after a while anyway whether to return home, or go to an adoptive placement. Has anyone does this? What are the logistics like? Can the account be only in the child֒s name? My biggest concern would be if the child goes home, and the bioparents name(s) have to be on the account, the parents will then be able to use that money for things other than caring for their children. While I realize that at that point it is their prerogative to do whatever they want with their childrenҒs property, I hate to think of a resource like that going toward less than savory goals. For the record, we plan to take ages 0-10, so its not like they would be teens almost ready to be on their own and use the account themselves. I will talk to our caseworker as well, to see if there are any county/state specific rules, but thought I would ask how you all handle this type of thing, too. Thanks in advance for any advice or personal anecdotes!
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i personally wouldnt do it for the very reasons you stated. i also think youll find that once you have the kids with you youll find that no matter HOW generous the stippend is, kids are expensive. we too have a very generous stippend in my state but by the time i buy diapers, wipes, shoes and clothes for a growing child, pay daycare for the amout above state coverage, etc, etc....... well, even IF i hadnt used all of last months in that particular month, there are PLENTY of months i go way OVER the stippend amount. change of seasons buying new clothes and shoes, holiday time and birthdays, vacation time. im pretty sure youll find there isnt much, if any "left over" on any given month. i do think its a good idea to try to teach the kids a bit about saving though. even if its just thru giving them some kind of allowance and having them save a portion of it while being able to make spending decisions on the rest. allowing them to save for bigger ticket items on their own and then getting the "reward" of being able to buy that item "on their own" is a big lesson!! i know in my case if bmom were to get goober back she would take any money he has for herself. i cant even give gifts. his 1st christmas i got him about $200 worth of new clothes. wrapped them up. mom returned ALL of them for cash and bought him a $20 toy instead. of course she kept the rest of the money. arrrg! i have a rule to ALWAYS remove tags and wash the clothes before she gets her hands on anything but as a gift i just cant do it!! (we are kinship and goober is my grandson).
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Personally, I don't think that's a good idea. The stipend is money that is supposed to be used for the child's care, it is not the child's actual money...that includes your utilities, housing costs, the cost of your time, activities, food, clothing, etc. It isn't really a matter of "needing" the money or not, generous stipend or not, etc. that is what the money is there for. Unless you are specifically going in just for low legal risk children, most of the kids coming through your door will be going on elsewhere, and send them back with possibly thousands of dollars is not a good idea, even in the best of situations. If your own child or a spouse received SSI for a disability, would you just give them the money? I wouldn't think so, that is part of the money you are receiving for their care and should be used accordingly. For us, all of our children are treated the same...so even though we only take littles, if we had older ones, they would all receive an allowance while in our care same as our own child would. I suppose if they chose to save it and went home with it, that would be their choice, but it would come from our general household budget. That is where our stipend goes as well...we have a zero based budget so all income and the stipend for the month go into the same pot and there are budgeted categories for our own children's clothing, our foster children's clothing, babysitting costs, the car payment from getting a bigger car for fostering, etc. Some months all the money probably goes to foster care needs, others not. It really doesn't make any difference.
HereWeGoAgain
i personally wouldnt do it for the very reasons you stated. i also think youll find that once you have the kids with you youll find that no matter HOW generous the stippend is, kids are expensive. we too have a very generous stippend in my state but by the time i buy diapers, wipes, shoes and clothes for a growing child, pay daycare for the amout above state coverage, etc, etc....... well, even IF i hadnt used all of last months in that particular month, there are PLENTY of months i go way OVER the stippend amount. change of seasons buying new clothes and shoes, holiday time and birthdays, vacation time. im pretty sure youll find there isnt much, if any "left over" on any given month. i do think its a good idea to try to teach the kids a bit about saving though. even if its just thru giving them some kind of allowance and having them save a portion of it while being able to make spending decisions on the rest. allowing them to save for bigger ticket items on their own and then getting the "reward" of being able to buy that item "on their own" is a big lesson!! i know in my case if bmom were to get goober back she would take any money he has for herself. i cant even give gifts. his 1st christmas i got him about $200 worth of new clothes. wrapped them up. mom returned ALL of them for cash and bought him a $20 toy instead. of course she kept the rest of the money. arrrg! i have a rule to ALWAYS remove tags and wash the clothes before she gets her hands on anything but as a gift i just cant do it!! (we are kinship and goober is my grandson).
We do stick all stipends including respite payments and clothing reimbursements in a single separate account from our usual. When we have a foster care expense, it comes from there. I pay myself gas money from there each month based on miles driven for instance and buy foster kids clothing and items from there, etc. If there's specific additional food things for special items, I pull from there. I see that money as for the kids in general instead of a specific child.Just an additional thing to think about as you consider options...
Thanks for the advice everyone. I definitely understand the reasons behind your advice not to, and see your points. I am thinking it's not really possible to have an account with only the child's name on it, without an adult "overseer" and since that would end up being someone who may not always have the child's best interests at heart, it's probably not worth it. I like the idea of putting the stipends in a completely separate account though - if for no other reason than tracking what we are using more easily. Who knows, there may one day be a situation where a bank account may be warranted - but I guess it's not likely, and I'll use other mechanisms to teach savings and cross any other bridges when they come up! Thanks again everyone!
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SktlsFam
Thanks for the advice everyone. I definitely understand the reasons behind your advice not to, and see your points. I am thinking it's not really possible to have an account with only the child's name on it, without an adult "overseer" and since that would end up being someone who may not always have the child's best interests at heart, it's probably not worth it. I like the idea of putting the stipends in a completely separate account though - if for no other reason than tracking what we are using more easily. Who knows, there may one day be a situation where a bank account may be warranted - but I guess it's not likely, and I'll use other mechanisms to teach savings and cross any other bridges when they come up! Thanks again everyone!
Here, older kids whose goal is independent living are often setup with bank accounts, especially if they are working. I guess DSS is the "guardian" if they are under 18, but I'm not sure. But I agree with PPs for younger kids or kids whose goal is not IL. If you have any spare money from the stipend, you can find a way to spend it to benefit the kids. Save for birthdays/Christmas/Hanuka or vacation or a family fun day. If they're leaving, send them home with clothes that are the next size up, school supplies, a school yearbook, professional photos, etc. For saving, a piggy bank gives the little ones a visual of what they're saving, which is good if they have a goal they are working toward.
We had the same thoughts, and our last placement ended up being a young sib. set of three, so we had a huge stipend ($1200 a month!). We could not have spent that much on three toddlers if we tried, unless we were throwing away their clothes instead of washing them!!! We have a separate checking account for our board payment, and we use that to buy "kid things" and factor in a percentage into household bills etc..We realized that sending money home with the kids was a bad idea for many reasons, but we still felt like most of that money was the kids money. But also, we worked hard taking are of them, so when they started RU weekend visits we started asking mom what she needed and took the kids shopping to pick out stuff for their new rooms...we ended up buying the kids beds, toy boxes, room decor and a kitchen table with chairs for moms new place out of the rest of the stipend, with a little left to help us take a vacation the week they went home.
The thought of having leftover stipend is incredulous to me, seeing I am putting in 120-135 a month in addition to the per diem just to pay daycare....I'd recommend saving that money. Maybe *this* child won't have higher needs! but the next might, so monies leftover could go to help the next kid. If you get a child with sensory integration issues, which a lot of drug exposed babies have, you night want special toys and such and they are expensive!Once Princess started school, during the school year we'd have a bit left over. I used that for birthday parties and other activities for the bios. She was sick and missed a visit one week so I hosted mom and creepy step-dad at the local indoor pool. But we are encouraged to get involved with family here. It is going to cost me over 100$ for BEs birthday at CEC having to pay for his four little cousins, cake, tokens. So I'd take a donation from your overage. ;-)
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I agree with everyone above! We also sort of had the same idea. We thought we'd buy whatever our first placement needed and save her stipend for her. That's not what it's designed for though.You may not think you'd spend a large amount of money on a child every single month,but some months you will spend far more than the stipend. Things to keep in mind are, like other people said, you are using your home, you vehicles, transporting to doctor visits, possibly missing work. We regularly bought new clothes, toys, food, gear, etc. Some months were more than others. WIC didn't cover all the formula or food. We had to transport her to the doctor every week for 2 months. Different things that add up.Among everything else, that child will more than likely not receive the money when you send them on their way anyways. I think if you wanted to save the money and teach them the value of a dollar, great. But don't get an account in their name. When you send them home or where ever they go...send them with decent clothing, activities, books, diapers, wipes, underwear, even extra food/formula. That will benefit them far more than sending them away with money in an account that more than likely won't be spent on them or saved for them.