DH (42) and I (41) adopted our son from Russia in 2005. He is now almost 10. He has always wanted siblings and DH and I have decided to adopt again, better late then never!
I'm so excited, but scared and nervous too. It will be a transition not only for our new child(ren), We are thinking we will adopt two this time, but for our son, who has been the only child for 9 years!!
We have a phone consult on Sunday and will be mailing in our application after the holiday's. Hoping that we might be able to travel this time next that even possible??
If you are adopting from China, are you going through one of the special needs programs, or are you trying to go through the regular program?
I would NOT advise you to try for the regular program at all. The wait is at least five years, and possibly a lot more, and there is no guarantee that the program will stay open. Most good agencies are no longer taking new applications for the regular program.
There are several ways to go through the special needs program. As an example, you can submit a dossier to China, specifying the needs you will accept, and letting China select a child for you. More commonly, however, families select children from either an agency-specific list or a list shared among all the agencies, get pre-approval for that child, and then submit a dossier. There are also "special focus" children, for whom waivers for certain requirements may be available, because the children are hard to place because of age or disability.
In some cases, it will be possible to bring home a child within a year. A lot will depend, however, on whether you find a child you feel comfortable adopting, whether you can get your dossier put together quickly, and so on.
I have adopted a 7 year old boy with hemophilia from China. He was a special focus child (i.e. moderate to severe special needs) and was considered "hard to place". I *generally* find medical needs manageable. You kinda grow into it, if that makes sense. In my case, my son's Chinese file indicated that he has very mild hemophilia - well, no, he has severe hemophilia but it's not a big deal. I was taught how to administer IV injections to my son whenever he needs medication. His condition is easier to manage than diabetes and yet, many adoptive parents seem really scared of it (:confused:)
IMHO, developmental needs and behavioral needs are much harder to deal with than medical issues. I was really afraid of behavioral challenges (acting out, sexualized behaviors, attachment issues etc.) but fortunately, my son is sweet natured and very loving. We had no major issues and he formed a solid attachment in a short time. He is also smart like a whip. I could not be happier with his adjustment :woohoo:
I was homestudy ready and had already filed the I-800A form when I applied for his pre-approval in February this year. We came home in August, i.e. 4 months ago. All in all, the net timeframe was about a year.
You mentioned adopting two children ... keep in mind that China will allow a family to adopt two children at the same time as long as one of the children is a special focus child. In other words, you can adopt a child with minor special needs (e.g. cleft lip, minor heart defect etc.) but then, if you adopt a second child at the same time, the second child has to be special focus.
As far as I am informed, the current wait time for a "healthy" child approaches now 7 years. Definitely not an option. :eek:
Please feel free to PM me if you would like to know more about China adoption and/or the special focus program.
Thanks so much for responding. We definitely will have a few questions to ask our agency with our upcoming conference call on Sunday. We may end up adopting one. Still tossing that idea around. I'm pretty sure the program is special needs. I was surprised to see boys are readily available now. I do want a girl this time though.
I wasn't sure how active this board was, I'll be posting more I'm sure.
It is my impression that more and more agencies do not allow the adoption of two children simultaneously. From what I have observed and experienced, I would advise against adopting two children. There can be significant adjustment issues, and it is better to focus on one child at a time.
The boys that are available in China have special needs, generally. That is the reason for their abandonment. Healthy boys would not be abandoned. My son was abandoned at the age of 16 months because his parents were unable to pay for expensive hemophilia management. They had to abandon him at the hospital to save his life.
About 80% of all adoptive parents require a girl (see e.g. [url=]Daughters in Demand | Adoption Information from Adoptive Families Magazine: Domestic, International, Foster and Embryo Adoption Resources[/url]. The most sought after children seem to be very young girls with mild needs (minor heart defects, cleft lip/palate).
What I have observed in the Special Focus program that girls generally tend to have more severe special needs than boys. I seem to see more and more available children with developmental needs.
Looks like we are going for one, a girl, so we will have a longer wait I guess. Sending app off later this month. I'll be calling two agencies about doing the homestudy. Both are a few hours from here. I forgot for the homestudy how many times they visit.
We'll also be reviewing/learning about the special needs diagnosis list to figure out what we're comfortable with.
Excited and scared at the same time.
Just an update. I just finished the Hague training for China toady and our 4th and final home study appointment is tomorrow. :banana: I'm so glad this part is about to wrap up. Things are moving along great.
Just wondering why this site is not more active. Is there another page or website that is busier??
Please keep posting here though. We'd love to keep following your journey. Perhaps even your story will attract new followers.
Almost ready to submit our Dossier. Waiting on our Fingerprints. I can't seem to get to the Chinaadopttalk website...any tips or links or can someone invite me??
Well we finally completed the paperwork. Our Dossier was mailed to the China Embassy on 9/10! :banana: Now we're just waiting patiently for our referral! Getting more and more excited...
Here is the latest if anyone is following. We were LID on 10/10/14. We inquired about a baby girl with our agency who had albinism. Unfortunately, they matched her with another family who had another child with albinism. Good for the baby and glad she found a great home.
After we spoke with our agency about her, they emailed us back and asked if we were interested in siblings. We said Yes! So as of 12/29/14 we were matched with a BIO Sibling group of 3!!! They said they didn't think it has ever been done before and in their over 20 years of business they have only had 1 or 2 biological sibling groups of 2 be adopted...never have heard of 3 from China before.
We were in shock for a few days, still are. We'll be going from a family of 3 to a family of 6. The siblings are boy- age 6, boy-age 4, and girl age 3. We are over the moon!!
We had to get our home study updated to reflect 3 children vs. 1. We just mailed in the addendum to CIS yesterday. We're keeping our fingers crossed we'll be traveling this summer.
You never know what is planned for your life....:wings:
How is it going ' Mama ' and Family!!!