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Not sure this belongs here, but i need to put words to my feelings and you all are my online family
I've spent the last 4 days with my brother's widow, his son, my sisters, and father (different combinations of that set)
His last night on earth, he was last seen on all fours, unable to get up. He had been drinking and taking pills. His wife punched him and called him a "piece of S$t". then went to bed.
Step back to earlier in the day, she had told him her was filing for divorce due to his substance abuse
A week prior, he had lost his job - again
A month prior, they were having loud fights and some gathering, but his wife assured her sister that "everything" was fine
2 months before his death, he stopped calling my father, whom he used to talk to twice a week
My sister is mad that she didn't call 911, but instead went to bed
My father is mad she told him she was taking away the last thing he had to live for (his son)
I'd sad that all these people had warning signs of his downward spiral and no one called an intervention
I see a 35 year trajectory that started in his childhood (I started on the same one) and ended last week. The last minutes don't matter.. the last days really don't matter.
I'm trying to gt a custom tattoo.. one that says "I'm a survivors.. others did not survive.. there's too much to lose by not surviving"
My DD has been amazing throughout this. She kept my nephew company while the grownups talked and has been extra good was a grieve
:wings:
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I am sorry. What a shame he was not able to be successfully helped for whatever reason. I think people being angry at the wrong (or right) person/people is pretty common in grief. Anger is a big part of it, especially in a "seemingly "preventable death. But you never can be sure if there was possibly enough help out there for him, and whether he would have cooperated with a treatment plan. Sorry Curry that you are having to endure this tragedy and that it is reminding you of your own past suffering. ((((HUGS)))))
((((wcurry)))
I just wanted to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. I t must be so hard for everyone to not judge or be critical of what someone else did or didn't do, especially his wife. She must have done the best she can and will have her own regrets over her last words to him. She may have been hoping that it would push him to change not push him over the edge......
Regardless, it hurts for all of you and I,m sorry for your loss
sm