tell me about fictive kin....

I picked up my 5 week old from the hospital. Family friend placement she was sent to said "NO" initially. 2 weeks later, they changed their mind. Their homestudy was approved.And she was placed with them the following Monday.They get no foster care stipend, no daycare assistance and only qualify for WIC since she is in kinship foster care.So, really they will do anything they can to place outside of foster care because it gets their case off the books (as kin has to do a lot more of the supervising visits etc) and there is no pressure with TPR etc as well as a HUGE financial incentive. If your signature is correct, and baby has only been with you since Jan, I would prepare for baby to move.I would hope they would weigh out the bond and care you have given this child, but they usually don't. :(

We were told the longer our foster daughter is with us the better our chance, as in the judge will weigh the foster family just as much as fictive kin once the foster child has been with the foster family at least six months. But this only applies if the baby/child has never met the kin previously. I wish they would step forward a lot sooner if they even think there is a small chance they will want the child, for me anyways, it would help me to view the entire placement differently if I know there is family considering coming forward. SW told us nothing is certain, kin has to pass background checks and they won't get financial help, she said sometimes the reality hits them and they decide it's not what they want. All you can do is take it one day at a time, be realistic but don't lose all hope either.

Chances are the baby will be moved. In most cases fictive kin trumps us old regular foster parents. I've had a case where the child stayed with me over fictive kin but that was mainly after the aunt met me she thought her niece would do better in my care. After she had been here for a while they did pursue to place her with the fictive kin but denied the move because they felt her space would be too small...I really think at that point the only reason they didn't move the child was because she had been here almost 7-8 months and again the aunt kept saying she would take her but she felt our home was a better fit.Another case they never moved the kids to fictive kin because they reunified those kids with their bio dads after about 2.5 months. I'm going through a similar situation as you currently. Child is 5 and has been in care for about 4 months. All fictive kin that stepped up initially could not get her or her sibs (that are currently in another home) because they couldn't pass the background check, however bio mom reached out to a distant relative that she hadn't spoken too in 3 years and she has done her background check and is awaiting an appointment for Asfa to go out and inspect her property. She's a foster parent in another county but She didn't pass the background in our county and needs to get something signed off but they are still pursuing the placement. And get this...the mat assessor, previous foster parents, the CSW, THE CSW supervisor and other CSW's within the unit all stated that they did not think it was the best idea for our foster child and her sibs (brothers) to be placed together because of the violence that they were exposed to but yet they are still pursuing the placement of the sibs together because the potential kin said she could deal with them and all the behaviors. We'd love to keep our placement but we support whatever decision DCFS makes even if we don't agree with it. My last scenario for you....we had a baby straight from the hospital who had a sib in another home(sib had high special needs). When our baby was born they called the other home and asked if they'd take the baby and they said no. Eventually she changed her mind after we had initiated adoption papers and she started causing all kinds of drama and ruckus. After having him almost 1 year she was able to get the baby because they wanted the sibs together. They asked us if we'd take the sib and we said no because we were not prepared to take care of a child with the amount of needs she had. So we lost the baby to the other parent. You just never know what the outcome will be when dealing with foster care....sometimes the kids you think will reunify DON'T, and the kids that shouldn't DO. IT's always a gamble and never a sure thing. I hope this gives you a little insight or clarity...and I wish you luck.

Chances are the baby will be moved. In most cases fictive kin trumps us old regular foster parents. I've had a case where the child stayed with me over fictive kin but that was mainly after the aunt met me she thought her niece would do better in my care. After she had been here for a while they did pursue to place her with the fictive kin but denied the move because they felt her space would be too small...I really think at that point the only reason they didn't move the child was because she had been here almost 7-8 months and again the aunt kept saying she would take her but she felt our home was a better fit. Another case they never moved the kids to fictive kin because they reunified those kids with their bio dads after about 2.5 months. I'm going through a similar situation as you currently. Child is 5 and has been in care for about 4 months. All fictive kin that stepped up initially could not get her or her sibs (that are currently in another home) because they couldn't pass the background check, however bio mom reached out to a distant relative that she hadn't spoken too in 3 years and she has done her background check and is awaiting an appointment for Asfa to go out and inspect her property. She's a foster parent in another county but She didn't pass the background in our county and needs to get something signed off but they are still pursuing the placement. And get this...the mat assessor, previous foster parents, the CSW, THE CSW supervisor and other CSW's within the unit all stated that they did not think it was the best idea for our foster child and her sibs (brothers) to be placed together because of the violence that they were exposed to but yet they are still pursuing the placement of the sibs together because the potential kin said she could deal with them and all the behaviors. We'd love to keep our placement but we support whatever decision DCFS makes even if we don't agree with it. My last scenario for you....we had a baby straight from the hospital who had a sib in another home(sib had high special needs). When our baby was born they called the other home and asked if they'd take the baby and they said no. Eventually she changed her mind after we had initiated adoption papers and she started causing all kinds of drama and ruckus. After having him almost 1 year she was able to get the baby because they wanted the sibs together. They asked us if we'd take the sib and we said no because we were not prepared to take care of a child with the amount of needs she had. So we lost the baby to the other parent. You just never know what the outcome will be when dealing with foster care....sometimes the kids you think will reunify DON'T, and the kids that shouldn't DO. IT's always a gamble and never a sure thing. I hope this gives you a little insight or clarity...and I wish you luck.

While in some ways I agree with this, I can see it another way as well. I was named as a potential fictive kin placement by an old friend (had not seen in quite a while - longer than your 2 years). Mom was ultimately able to do what she needed to reunify first (I lived out of the area, so kids would not have been moved until after TPR). Kids had been with foster family for a little while, but I still think I would ultimately have been able to give the kids one thing the foster family couldn't. Although I hadn't been in touch with mom for a while, I did have a history with her. I could have shared with the kids things that the foster family couldn't - knowledge of their mom, what she was like BEFORE things got bad with her, how they were like her, stories of her and extended family, a feeling of history. I've worked with kids who would have given a great deal to have that - they may love their foster or adoptive parents, may not, or may still not have permanency, but regardless, many kids do not have a sense of connection with their birth families and would really like to be able to have that. I do think it's really different for those kids who have been with foster family for many months to years, but I see why they weigh even fictive kinship as heavily as they do.

Fictive kin allows the state to call it a "reunification." Fictive kin placement is much cheaper and can end with PMC rather than adoption paid for by the state.Fictive kin are "kin" so trump foster family.Even if the child has never met the people.Even if the PARENT has never met the people.Even if......We have had two cases go to fictive kin. With Monkey, after 14 months, she went to her biomom's sister's husband's brother's family. With the next set of kids, they went to a neighbor of the aunt after five months.

Fictive kin allows the state to call it a "reunification." Fictive kin placement is much cheaper and can end with PMC rather than adoption paid for by the state. Fictive kin are "kin" so trump foster family. Even if the child has never met the people. Even if the PARENT has never met the people. Even if...... We have had two cases go to fictive kin. With Monkey, after 14 months, she went to her biomom's sister's husband's brother's family. With the next set of kids, they went to a neighbor of the aunt after five months.

Wow, this is hard. I'm sorry for the uncertainty in your case. That's always scary. We're fictive kin through adoption. Everything in the list above is not true of our case (maybe it's a state by state thing). I feel like that list is more true of "relative" than fictive kin. Or, perhaps its because we were foster parents first. We get paid like foster parents. Lil Man's case didn't end in RU. It ended in VR/TPR and adoption by a non-relative (paid by the state plus a subsidy and insurance). The bio mom has already named us as her pick for adoption of Beany Baby. I wish that could mean that we could be done sooner rather than later, but we're not in one of those states. I'm guessing OP, that your position in competition against the fictive kin is going to be stronger because of your relationship with the child. At least in our state, the possession of the child is a huge deciding factor in permanency. Of course, your SW probably won't tell you that. Our SW likes to dangle the possibility of the baby leaving over our heads to get us to do what she wants. Keep us posted, OP.

Since it's only been since January, I'd say fictive kin has just as good a chance as any. I know of a case here with a safe surrender someone lost after 4 months because they figured out baby had a sibling adopted and that family wanted him. Now, my feeling here in my area is that if you've had a baby especially over 6 months, fictive kin isn't really considered if the baby is in a concurrent home. Close relatives are still considered at that time though.

It seems to me that fictive kin is a pretty broad category. We are pursuing placement as fictive kin for a little girl because she is the bio sibling of our two sons through private adoption. Although I will feel very bad for the caregiver who has to say goodbye to her, I do feel her growing up with her brothers and with us having contact with cousins, grandma , and bio mom when she is sober, will be best for baby girl. As far as it being cheaper for the state , they are actually requiring us to get licensed as foster parents...

Just to clarify:The children who went to a neighbor of an aunt? I thought at the time that it had potential to be a really good situation. I liked the family and felt they had real strengths. I did think that there were a few issues with the placement and it hurt because we were told adoption from the moment that caseworker got here with the kids (like before we all even made it into the house). Additionally, the kids were here five and a half months even though the people lived right here in the area. There is no reason it took 3 months past the people meeting the children. That just made it harder on everyone. With Monkey, I think the placement had the potential to be a good thing family wise. She has access to her mother's adoptive family this way. A few months into the placement with us, it was probably still in her best interest to move. However, once she stayed SO long, because we were her fourth home and there were attachment concerns, it would have been best for her to stay here. Additionally, she wouldn't lose biological connections she had here. Moving across the country, basically made it where she had NO history at all prior to 21months old. Sadly, all that preverbal trauma and especially being ripped from us has caused major issues. Those are being addressed by the family she is with, but really, she just shouldn't have had this last and biggest trauma to try to overcome. Monkey's situation is the only time we've been totally against the goal whole-heartedly. Considering everything, we were right. Being right as your child struggles across the country, even with a good family who is trying to figure things out with her, is *really* hard.BTW, we have also been fictive kin. In fact, that is how we started many many years ago. So I'm not totally anti-fictive kin. I think it can be good. I just don't think it always is (and neither is family. At the same time I lost Monkey, two others in my neighborhood lost toddlers also. One so the family could get additional money. The other was a 78yo great grandparent taking him though saying no all the way through the case). OP, I completely and totally get that you already adore this child. The other night, I read a few emails from the first month my kids were here. They weren't babies and I was already hooked. The love oozes from the screen! And attaching to babies is *much* easier than a bunch of traumatized hurt kids who are pushing you away! Our last baby....I remember my thoughts that first day. By day 4, hubby and I were smitten! It is natural that we bond so quickly to a person we are doing everything for, holding constantly, etc. I have said that having babies helped me realize how much we check on, touch, talk to, etc babies so I would remember to make sure I'm doing enough of those things to connect with my big kids! So I do understand! At the same time, this is fostering. And the goal goes bioparents, kin, "stranger." It stinks because many times we strangers are the LEAST stranger-like to the child, but so often that doesn't count.BTW, Amber, I wouldn't consider you fictive kin. If you have the siblings, you move up to CLOSE bio-family in my book (and according to what would be done in most places). Unless it took forever to get the kid to you, I'd back that all the way :)

Just to clarify: The children who went to a neighbor of an aunt? I thought at the time that it had potential to be a really good situation. I liked the family and felt they had real strengths. I did think that there were a few issues with the placement and it hurt because we were told adoption from the moment that caseworker got here with the kids (like before we all even made it into the house). Additionally, the kids were here five and a half months even though the people lived right here in the area. There is no reason it took 3 months past the people meeting the children. That just made it harder on everyone. With Monkey, I think the placement had the potential to be a good thing family wise. She has access to her mother's adoptive family this way. A few months into the placement with us, it was probably still in her best interest to move. However, once she stayed SO long, because we were her fourth home and there were attachment concerns, it would have been best for her to stay here. Additionally, she wouldn't lose biological connections she had here. Moving across the country, basically made it where she had NO history at all prior to 21months old. Sadly, all that preverbal trauma and especially being ripped from us has caused major issues. Those are being addressed by the family she is with, but really, she just shouldn't have had this last and biggest trauma to try to overcome. Monkey's situation is the only time we've been totally against the goal whole-heartedly. Considering everything, we were right. Being right as your child struggles across the country, even with a good family who is trying to figure things out with her, is *really* hard. BTW, we have also been fictive kin. In fact, that is how we started many many years ago. So I'm not totally anti-fictive kin. I think it can be good. I just don't think it always is (and neither is family. At the same time I lost Monkey, two others in my neighborhood lost toddlers also. One so the family could get additional money. The other was a 78yo great grandparent taking him though saying no all the way through the case). OP, I completely and totally get that you already adore this child. The other night, I read a few emails from the first month my kids were here. They weren't babies and I was already hooked. The love oozes from the screen! And attaching to babies is *much* easier than a bunch of traumatized hurt kids who are pushing you away! Our last baby....I remember my thoughts that first day. By day 4, hubby and I were smitten! It is natural that we bond so quickly to a person we are doing everything for, holding constantly, etc. I have said that having babies helped me realize how much we check on, touch, talk to, etc babies so I would remember to make sure I'm doing enough of those things to connect with my big kids! So I do understand! At the same time, this is fostering. And the goal goes bioparents, kin, "stranger." It stinks because many times we strangers are the LEAST stranger-like to the child, but so often that doesn't count. BTW, Amber, I wouldn't consider you fictive kin. If you have the siblings, you move up to CLOSE bio-family in my book (and according to what would be done in most places). Unless it took forever to get the kid to you, I'd back that all the way :)

Fictive kin neighbor DENIED. Bio has been missing since birth...no dad. Gma and siblings all ruled out. Right now, there is no one left to check. Please pray for us. We love this little girl very much and would love to adopt.

Good news for you. I hope everything goes the direction that you want it to go. It's so hard when our kids' lives are uncertain and dependent on someone else's good favor.

That's great news!!! Praying everything continues to go in your favor!!!