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Just wondering if anyone has had this type of experience: So me and my partner were matched with a 9 yr old (J) boy in CA last year. Since then we have completed all of the paperwork, including Interstate Compact agreement, and the court has signed off in MD and CA. However, the court in CA approved pending concurrence from the minor's representative lawyer. Apparently one of the contract wrap around team members has metioned to the lawyer that J has said he didn't want to leave the Foster home, so refused to sign off until we have visits and want their own theropist present. In speaking directly with J's caseworker in CA she and her coworkers in the office, as well as our agency case workers have never seen a lawyer do this (take a personal interest and not listen to the main state employed caseworkers). CA contracts cases out, and although the main case workers for the state and everyone is all onboard with the adoption and have stated that the reservations that the child state are completely normal with any adoption. They don't feel like the lawyer (or the contracted team member) understand the adoption process and/or the fact that J will not be adopted by the Foster family (they've already said no) and will remain in the system even longer if they deny this placement. So at this point, we currently have two scheduled calls per week with J. He is of course nervous about the situation and doesn't understand completely why he can't stay with his foster family, but has openly talked about us coming to visit him and the possibility of coming here (especially excited about being able to see the White House). We're scheduled to visit during the first week of April. After a couple days/visits, at least one or two of which the lawyers theropist will be at, the State Caseworkers will push the lawyer to sign off and let us finish the paperwork while in CA and very possibly bring J back with us. The frustrating part is that because one or two people either don't understand the process or have their own hang-ups/agenda, they could hold up or even disrupt a placement that has already been review by the legal state case workers, Judges, etc in two different states... Grrrrrrr.
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That's the problem, the child most likely has said that he doesn't want to move. However, the fosters have already stated that they don't want to adopt. Based on what the case workers from DCFS the child hasn't shown any out of the ordinary signs of distress, considering the situation, and may be getting mixed messages from the foster family. He obviously would be nervous and not want to leave a home that he's been in for a year or longer. Based on known information, someone from the wrap around team mentioned to the lawyer that J stated he didn't want to move, so now there is hesitation. The DCFS workers believe that the wrap around team and/or the lawyer are not very familiar with the typical adoption process and/or the childs reaction to it. They were planning to have a meeting with the management for the wrap around team to try and iron out the issues and make sure everyone is on the same page, so that hopefully by the time we get there things will go as planned. So yes it would be statements made by the juvenile but as mentioned all of the actual adoption case workers (2 DCFS and 2 here in MD) stated the reactions are normal and seemed shocked that a lawyer would put that much emphesis on one person's concern over a reaction that mulitple other professionals working with the case state is normal anxiety. J has actually spoken with us about our visit there and has talked about stuff he'd like to do in DC when he comes here, so while I completely believe he has said he doesn't want to move, I don't believe it has anything to do with us personally, I just think he currently feels stable where he's at. Unfortunately he is not aware that the foster family has been offered, and turned down, the opportunity to adopt him (obviously not something you tell a child). Either way, it's frustrating but all we can do is go forward with the visitation and prepare for the best case scenario of him coming home with us.