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When my children first came to us, my son was very protective and possessive of his sister. He is only five years older then her but has practically raised her. Well they have been with us for over two years now and still tries to parent her, except now it has changed from loving to bossy. He bosses her constantly, tells her she's wrong, takes things from her, etc. She's no princess either, she tattles, irritates, etc. Needless to say they are driving me NUTS! I have gave them long speeches and even tried time outs on the couch holding hands :confused: . Nothings working! every five minutes someone cries, tattles, yells...Any ideas on how to make it stop before I completely loose it!?!?
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if it's any consolation to you it sounds like sibling rivalry to me. Before he was parentified and watched over her like a parent would but it sounds like he has passed on from that and now is being a kid and sibling rivalry is rearing its head. Good that he no longer feels the need to act as the parent but that doesn't help your sanity level listening to the bickering does it?
some things I have heard of people trying- depending on their ages, of course :
videotaping them arguing and bickering and then having them watch it- it's possible they don't realize that they are doing it as often as they are and how nasty they are being. I would say to them, would you let one of your friends talk to your brother/sister like that? Why or why not? If not then why are you doing it?
extra chores- since you had to take time out of doing the chores to referee them, they can finish the laundry, vacuuming, washing dishes, etc.
loss of privileges of course- no tv,music, xbox, phone calls to friends, until you are confident that attitudes have changed and they can treat each other with dignity and respect. Shouldn't take long with no electronics allowed.
and a friend of mine had to sit and hold hands with her brother on the couch until they could stop bickering. that should be a hit if they are teenagers
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