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We've had our sibling set (both under 2) for a little over 9 months. Before that, bios received 6+ months of in-home services with the family preservation unit and kinship/fictive-kinship placements were sought as an alternative to bringing the kids into care. The goal has been non-RU since days into the case and is now adoption. Every relative imaginable has been pressed by bmom to step forward, all were denied during the home-evaluations and background checks. The case is being prepared for TPR, which according to everybody at DFCS "should have happened a LONG time ago" (actually everyone believes TPR should have already happened, not just being prepared for, but the CW is brand spanking new and doesn't really know how to do anything without her supervisor's assistance) and the TPR is a slam dunk. Here, they take permanency for infants VERY seriously and our judge doesn't play games. TPR is usually filed around the 6 month point if the case plan has not been worked in it's entirety unless there are mitigating circumstances. So we are supposed to be signing our legal-risk paperwork any day. A few days ago in a last-ditch effort, bmom got a friend of bdad's mother to agree to "take the girls." This person isn't even a friend of either parent. She somehow got a higher-up at DFCS to agree to look into this person for potential placement after the CW told her fictive-kinship would not be considered this late in the game. I've been told this person is "a much older woman" which is a concern for the CW and her supervisor. I've also been told mom is hell-bent on blocking us from adopting the kids because we're not of the same race. I realize I'm rambling, but I'm terrified. I realize she may not even be appropriate like all the others who have been brought forward so far, but I also know she could very well be a decent person. I know this person is up against a team that thinks the kids should stay with us and already has some strikes against her, including that they think there is a good chance that the kids will be handed right back over to bmom. I guess all that being said I was just wondering, have you ever had a similar situation? What do you think will happen?
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I know you're in a panic but you're okay. This is a long shot at best. A LONG LONG LONG shot. They aren't going to hand the babies over to someone who isn't appropriate. If she's an older woman with no connection to the family and will just turn the babies back over to biomom, then she won't be approved. Even in the off chance that she IS approved, the babies won't go to her without the judge's approval. Talk to the CW supervisor and explain your concerns. Ask for a bonding study. This will give the judge a genuine reason for keeping the babies with you instead of an approved fictive kin. Can you get intervener status in your state after 6 months? Ask the cw supervisor about that, too. Also ask if you can address the judge or write him a letter. Talk to the babies' lawyer. Explain your concerns. Ask him/her to push for the bonding study. ETA: I had a friend who was in a similar situation. Biomom, at the 11th hour, said her mother wanted the baby. The grandmother had no idea she had been volunteered for placement and declined. The biomom then gave her aunt's name. The aunt had no idea she would need a homestudy and thought it was short term until biomom got out of jail. This fictive kin may not even know her name was volunteered. She may also declined once she knows she needs a homestudy.
Thanks Kat! That's the boost of encouragement I needed to get through the next two weeks. I am hoping we hear something by then. We had someone tell us yesterday when we asked for prayer that if the kids were taken from us, that "obviously God has even better children waiting for us." What?!?! I'm so glad I have y'all who understand. :o Thank you for your prayers Millie!
My area does not take fictive kin or distant relatives seriously after a certain length of time if the kids are in a home that wants to adopt them. Closer relatives like grandparents or siblings of the parents are fair game, but not random people unless they are presented earlier (say first 6 months) in the case. I'm hoping for your sake they are just going through the motions and even if she passes, she may decide not to pursue or they will still choose you over her.
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We went thought this but we were only a month into our case at the time. There was a completed and approved home study on the "babysitter". We started questioning (nicely) everyone involved who this person was. Turns out not only was it not the babysitter, it was the babysitter's mom who had never even me the child. We voiced our concerns to our guardian ad litem's office. The child wasn't even assigned a guardian yet. I spoke with the supervisor. I nicely reminded her that every disruption in foster care is super detrimental to children. Everyone agree and she is still in our home to this day. Be the (nice) squeaking wheel that gets the grease!
We went thought this but we were only a month into our case at the time. There was a completed and approved home study on the "babysitter". We started questioning (nicely) everyone involved who this person was. Turns out not only was it not the babysitter, it was the babysitter's mom who had never even me the child. We voiced our concerns to our guardian ad litem's office. The child wasn't even assigned a guardian yet. I spoke with the supervisor. I nicely reminded her that every disruption in foster care is super detrimental to children. Everyone agree and she is still in our home to this day. Be the (nice) squeaking wheel that gets the grease!
Take a deep breathe. Now relax. Follow the advice of Kat: ask for a bonding study, talk to the children's lawyer, and see if your State allow FP to file DeFacto. Also check out your State's case law to see if their have been any recent rulings for or against sending children to non and fictive kin who are distant or have never met the children. Also in my State, CPS will place w/ fictive kin that has had a relationship w/ the foster child. This is one of the reason's why our sibling set was split @ the beginning. Often CPS will due their due diligence to show that they did everything possible to place the children w/in "family". However, following their procedures doesn't equate to handing the children over.
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Agree with the above. Fictive kind who doesn't really know the parents? NO. A relative at this point in the game? Maybe. Not fictive kin. Too little too late. Can you just imagine if they allowed it? Everyone going to TPR would have relatives looking for suitable "friends" to take their kids. It would be a M.E.S.S. :rolleyes:
Thank you all for your replies and prayers! A little update from yesterday and this morning... Here, kids don't always receive attorneys. Ours do not have one. I have emailed the kid's CW and her supervisor about a possible bonding assessment and am waiting to hear back. I have searched all over the internet and asked other foster parents in our area and nobody has heard of de facto or intervener status, so I'm not sure about that one. My approval worker gave us the name and number of an attorney who has been down this road before. She told us to hold on to it as back up, but feels confident we will not need it. She met with the kid's case management team and says they're just indulging the mother with this home evaluation but have no intention on moving the children because of the length of time they have been here and how much improvement they have seen in them while here. The case management team has stated in their written report to the judge that they feel the children are attached to my husband and I and are thriving here. She also said that showing they looked into the fictive-kin, even if she is approved and they don't place with her, will give the TPR more strength. She said the judge likes to see no loose ends, but that it would be very unlikely he would even allow the move if DFCS supported it. The case management team said we will still be signing our legal-risk paperwork next week and they're moving full speed ahead with the TPR.
SCDA1114
Thank you all for your replies and prayers! A little update from yesterday and this morning... Here, kids don't always receive attorneys. Ours do not have one. I have emailed the kid's CW and her supervisor about a possible bonding assessment and am waiting to hear back. I have searched all over the internet and asked other foster parents in our area and nobody has heard of de facto or intervener status, so I'm not sure about that one. My approval worker gave us the name and number of an attorney who has been down this road before. She told us to hold on to it as back up, but feels confident we will not need it. She met with the kid's case management team and says they're just indulging the mother with this home evaluation but have no intention on moving the children because of the length of time they have been here and how much improvement they have seen in them while here. The case management team has stated in their written report to the judge that they feel the children are attached to my husband and I and are thriving here. She also said that showing they looked into the fictive-kin, even if she is approved and they don't place with her, will give the TPR more strength. She said the judge likes to see no loose ends, but that it would be very unlikely he would even allow the move if DFCS supported it. The case management team said we will still be signing our legal-risk paperwork next week and they're moving full speed ahead with the TPR.
SCDA1114
Thank you all for your replies and prayers! A little update from yesterday and this morning... Here, kids don't always receive attorneys. Ours do not have one. I have emailed the kid's CW and her supervisor about a possible bonding assessment and am waiting to hear back. I have searched all over the internet and asked other foster parents in our area and nobody has heard of de facto or intervener status, so I'm not sure about that one. My approval worker gave us the name and number of an attorney who has been down this road before. She told us to hold on to it as back up, but feels confident we will not need it. She met with the kid's case management team and says they're just indulging the mother with this home evaluation but have no intention on moving the children because of the length of time they have been here and how much improvement they have seen in them while here. The case management team has stated in their written report to the judge that they feel the children are attached to my husband and I and are thriving here. She also said that showing they looked into the fictive-kin, even if she is approved and they don't place with her, will give the TPR more strength. She said the judge likes to see no loose ends, but that it would be very unlikely he would even allow the move if DFCS supported it. The case management team said we will still be signing our legal-risk paperwork next week and they're moving full speed ahead with the TPR.
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