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Looking for advice on leaving attachment disordered teen home alone. Every time we do, she gets into something that's off limits or breaks the house rules. I can't take her to work with me and she's too old for day care. She's almost 15. There are times when there is no school or half days and I don't trust her at home anymore. We can't keep doing this. We've had multiple discussions with therapists about giving her opportunities to earn trust back but she fails every time. I can't keep taking chances that one day she's going to get into something dangerous or burn the house down. What do you do with these kids? Where do you take them? I am all out of resources. We've exhausted every avenue. My husband and I like to go out for drinks once in a while, we aren't gone for very long be we can't even do that, we can't out for breakfast when she sleeps in on the weekends. We have to take her with us everywhere we go. It's ridiculous. The thing is, she doesn't want to be dragged around, she doesn't want to go to work with me so it's not like she's doing it on purpose so she's not left out. She genuinely wants to stay home and sleep in or watch tv on a day off from school so it's not about self-sabotage. I don't know how to make the reward worth the effort on her part. Thanks for any input!
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lulahigley
Looking for advice on leaving attachment disordered teen home alone. Every time we do, she gets into something that's off limits or breaks the house rules. I can't take her to work with me and she's too old for day care. She's almost 15. There are times when there is no school or half days and I don't trust her at home anymore. We can't keep doing this. We've had multiple discussions with therapists about giving her opportunities to earn trust back but she fails every time. I can't keep taking chances that one day she's going to get into something dangerous or burn the house down. What do you do with these kids? Where do you take them? I am all out of resources. We've exhausted every avenue. My husband and I like to go out for drinks once in a while, we aren't gone for very long be we can't even do that, we can't out for breakfast when she sleeps in on the weekends. We have to take her with us everywhere we go. It's ridiculous. The thing is, she doesn't want to be dragged around, she doesn't want to go to work with me so it's not like she's doing it on purpose so she's not left out. She genuinely wants to stay home and sleep in or watch tv on a day off from school so it's not about self-sabotage. I don't know how to make the reward worth the effort on her part. Thanks for any input!
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are there any summer day camps in your area? The local Y has day camps for kids and teens here. They meet in the park and go swimming and take field trips too. Is there any type of job nearby she could get like at a fast food place that she could get to on her own? If that would be possible she could learn to become more responsible. Or if there are any nursing homes nearby you could require her to do volunteer work for a certain # of hours per week that at least would cut down on the amount of time she were on her own
Yes, she goes to the boys and girls club during the day but when it was over there were two days before school started that I had to take her to work with me. There will be days when there is no school or early release that my husband will have to take off work to watch her. She's too young to work. She just cannot be left alone in the house. There is a concert coming up and we have no sitter to watch her I don't know where I am going to take her, we have no family here in town. I don't want to put up a craigstlist ad because people don't understand why a 14 year old needs to be watched. A nanny is way too expensive.
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This sounds like my life. Luckily, this summer there were a few camps she was able to attend, and my work schedule was flexible. Teen camps are difficult to find for 15 year olds. I don't know what I'm going to do next summer, when she's 16! I am also facing the one hour after school until I get home issue ... same as in your case everything she can get into she does. I'm a single Mom, so it's very difficult. I wish there were more options for teens to be supervised.
Wish I could give you more advice!
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When I was in grad school I worked watching a teenager who couldn't safely be alone. His mom had advertised on a job board at the university. I would pick him up at school and hang out with him for a couple hours, get him started on homework, etc. If there is a college or university locally, it might be a good place to try. Especially if they have a psychology or education department - it could give students experience (meaning you might keep someone for a while) as well as giving you someone who would be less confused about why a teenager needs a sitter.
ruth74
When I was in grad school I worked watching a teenager who couldn't safely be alone. His mom had advertised on a job board at the university. I would pick him up at school and hang out with him for a couple hours, get him started on homework, etc. If there is a college or university locally, it might be a good place to try. Especially if they have a psychology or education department - it could give students experience (meaning you might keep someone for a while) as well as giving you someone who would be less confused about why a teenager needs a sitter.