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I am preparing for the termination hearing for my STBAS (G) parents. His mother is also my cousin. I believe G's parents love him, but have either refused and/or failed to do anything to have him returned. Both of his parents have significant drug addiction and domestic violence issues. My husband and I have decided to be open with G about his adoption to appropriate levels and I have been collecting everything pertaining to his case to give to him when older. G's father had begun asking about contact after adoption and my husband and I decided we would start with letter exchanges/pictures and go from there based on impact, respect/appropriateness, sobriety, etc. (His father has been incarcerated most of G's life and has not seen him since shortly after birth. ) We have not decided what to do about G's mother because she had been MIA for months. I am thinking she should be treated the same, although I know there is the chance of her showing up to family functions. Any advice or thoughts from adoptees regarding this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!
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I'm not a kinship adoptee, but I want to say that I think you're doing the right thing by keeping a file of G's paperwork to give him later on. Please try to include a copy of his original birth certificate in that file, before it's sealed by the state and replaced with the amended birth certificate. Obviously, since you're doing a kinship adoption, his original last name is known to you, but that piece of paper with the original name is precious to many adoptees. Beyond that, obviously G's safety and well-being need to come first. I hope his parents can clean themselves up in time and eventually grow into a relationship with him. For now, if you put G's physical, social, and emotional needs firsts, you'll probably make more "right" decisions than "wrong" ones when it comes to contact with his birth parents. Good luck.
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