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Hello, thank you for taking the time to read my story and possibly provide help and or support.
First off I should say my sister-in-law is pregnant and had had other children in the past that she has no rights to (she was found unfit to care for them) except one daughter that she gets to see every other weekend.
She is currently pregnant again and is worried the state might step in and remove the baby from her care.
She has came to my in-laws about the idea of them adopting the baby but they aren't able to at this time in their lives.
My husband and I have always talked about adoption but didn't expect it to be this close to home.
We are going today to sit down and talk to her about the possibilities of the future and I was hoping to get some insight on what should be said and done.
Thanks a ton!
-L
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SweetAnn22
You said sister in law, where is your brother or husband's brother in all this?
Unless I'm reading this wrong, it could be her husband's sister.
Duh...you are absolutely right. I asked because I wanted to know if he was in support of the plan. Either way, I think that with the right boundaries it could work.
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I've got a few questions...
Did she ask you to adopt? You said she asked the in laws but didn't say that she asked you as well, I'm assuming your not just approaching her to adopt her child. Just wondering how she approached you with this situation, what her approach was.
Where's the biological dad? Is he on board with this adoption plan?
Is he incapable of parenting?
Family adoption is hard. It's the best for the kiddo but I can tell you it's hard. Your family will always think of your SIL as "mom" they'll call her "mom" they'll do things that inadvertently hurt your feelings it's very difficult as she is and always will be the First Mom should she place. However; It can be done and when its done well, it can be great. But its a tough road no matter what.
Should she change her mind, tempt fate and decide to parent how will that affect your relationship with her?
Just things to ponder going in to your meeting. It's a great thing and keeping kiddo's in their family of origin if at all possible. However; this will put an entire new dynamics on your relationship with your husbands family (and your husband no doubt) so just be prepared going in.