Adopting my nephew - need advice

I've not been there (yet) but sometimes I think kids understand things better than adults. We started trying to adopt when my now 6yo was 3yo. I talked to him a little bit about how he grew in my tummy but his brother or sister would grow in someone else's tummy. We've talked about adoption around our house since beginning the process just in general conversation. Recently, we had a potential placement (ended up falling through). Something come up about birth moms and I asked my son if he knew what that meant. And he did. A friend who's daughter is in my son's classroom was talking to her about adoption and asked if she knew what it meant - and the 6yo explained adoption to her mom. I think kids sometimes "get" things that are harder for adults to understand.

I've not been there (yet) but sometimes I think kids understand things better than adults. We started trying to adopt when my now 6yo was 3yo. I talked to him a little bit about how he grew in my tummy but his brother or sister would grow in someone else's tummy. We've talked about adoption around our house since beginning the process just in general conversation. Recently, we had a potential placement (ended up falling through). Something come up about birth moms and I asked my son if he knew what that meant. And he did. A friend who's daughter is in my son's classroom was talking to her about adoption and asked if she knew what it meant - and the 6yo explained adoption to her mom. I think kids sometimes "get" things that are harder for adults to understand.

I think when he's older he'll ask questions and you can provide the truthful answers. Start simple and allow him to talk and ask you questions. As long as the communication is open and positive he'll understand. Just do it at his age level. When our daughter came here at age 6 we talked about it at that age level. "Mom couldn't keep you safe so we are here to protect you, etc..." Then as she got older we could discuss choices and why she was here with us instead of with her biomom. She is 15 now and understand completely why she's with us and is safe. She may want a relationship when she's 18, and that's fine with me as long as it's a safe situation, however right now she voices she doesn't want any contact with biomom. She has not spoken to her since age 11 due to biomom's drug issues. Just continue to talk about it in age appropriate words and phrases and he'll know it's ok to ask questions, etc...

There's no easy answer. I don't think there's one "talk".. one thing you can say to explain every all you can do is answer any questions he has and be honest.. if he says something about being in your tummy, you clarify that he was in Aunty's tummy If you integrate his reality from an early time, he'll be fine. The good.weird thing about kids - everything is normal to them best of luck