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So we are at the attachment therapist for RAD and they are telling my daughter she needs to get her anger out, punch pillows,etc. Same advise another therapist gave us.
However, I'm really having doubts about this, I just read this article about that being wrong and that punching pillows etc. actually makes them more violent.
I'm beginning to think that is right. It has been years of this pillow punching and no improvement in her behavior. She gets angry when I correct her for something because she feels dumb. No amount of pillow punching changes that.
Anyway what does everybody think, get anger out or do something else because I'm really thinking this expressing anger etc. is just feeding the problem and making her more violent with kicking things.
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I have also heard that it just feeds anger. I think learning coping skills that improve communication and encourage calmness are far more effective. My daughter is not RAD, but she blows up over corrections because she feels dumb as well. We find "I feel" statements to be helpful during those times. If we cannot have a calm conversation, we stop the conversation entirely until we can approach it without raising voices.
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We are writing in a journal the "I feel . . " but she really doesn't want to do this, probably because she doesn't like to talk about things. Though I think this might be the best idea so far because she is doing it. Either way the kicking etc. needs to stop. Does anybody know how to get them to stop in the middle of tantrum? Normally I send her to her room to calm down, put her out of the car and make her run around it until she stops etc. However, all of these techniques involve getting her to do it. That is the hard part. I think the therapist encouraging the "letting out the anger" has basically told her it is okay to scream at the top of your lungs, kick etc. Even though she told her to kick her ball etc. It is hard for her in full blown rage to think, I will go kick my ball. She just kicks the furniture, walls, and a couple of times kicked at me.