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Unbelievable. We are 2 weeks before termination trial. I checked social media tonight. Biomom is posting pics of her throwing gang signs, and my FS doing the same signs, with comments about her being a role model and teaching her child. I am SO upset. This is a supervised visit. Someone took the pictures. Was it the supervisor, or did she have a family member at the visit taking the pictures. She is teaching her 3 year old gang signs, and bragging about it on social media. I want these visits ended. Dear Lord, I want them over. As it is, he refused to go to the visit today and I was texting caseworker, telling her I am not inclined to force him. They asked me to encourage him to go. I feel like that is NOT my place. I always present visit time positively, but if he is telling me he doesn't want to go, then I feel like I should honor that. Encouraging him to go after him telling me numerous times he does not want to go seems like I am undermining the trust he has in me. This should not be my place. How much of a stink do I make of this? #FosterCareSucks
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Yes foster care sucks. And I've been where you are. And I did work with CPS to stop visits (not because of what I saw in pictures but because of the horrible visit aftermath of the kids). "Supervised" is very loosely used around here, I learned much later. (However, the visits ultimately resumed when the kids were more emotionally stable.) Regardless, though, I still always speak positively about the parents and the visits to the kids. She might be a terrible mom, but she is a person with her own painful background (likely similar to that of her kid) and she is 1/2 of your son. And your place isn't to be an enemy of the system, CPS, or the mom. Yes, it's your job to take care of your FS, but part of taking care of him is helping him be as much at peace as possible when it comes to his mom. And even though this reinforces that CPS probably made the right decision when they removed FS from her care, teaching him gang signs really isn't abuse or neglect...it's just poor judgment and indicates that home life with her MIGHT not be safe for him.Take a screenshot of the picture and comment. It will make "good" evidence in the TPR case. But take a deep breath, be patient, and realize that thankfully she has limited access to him. It sucks. And the fact that you're hurting for him means you want what's best for him. But try to be open about what best means for kids who are still in the system.
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