To Cynic

Originally Posted By LynI just found this board and I am not sure what has been happening but I did see your post regarding why someone would choose a closed adoption. I did not choose a closed adoption with my son. That is just the way it has worked out...let me explain. My son had been in foster care since birth. His bmom has a long history of drug abuse as well as criminal activity to support that drug habit, as does her family. It's really a sad story but her own mother did the same things and my son's bmom was placed into foster care too. Anyway, numerous families were approached to adopt my son, but because of his medical history, he wasn't a "desired" child. I was involved with his case because of his medical disabilities and wasn't looking to adopt. In a lot of ways, I feel like he found me. The social worker had told me that his bmom had at one time stated that she'd like to meet his aparents and would I agree? I discussed it with my husband and we both agreed to it. It has been almost 18 months since he was placed with us and we have not heard from the bmom yet. I don't judge her, I know she has a lot of problems, most of which are not her fault. I send letters and pictures to the DSS worker and have asked that his information be placed in his baunt's files (both were adopted as well) and their information placed in his as well. I am sorry for this long post! I guess my point is, closed adoption still occurs in some cases just because that is the way it works out. I have to admit, that I don't want his bmom to know where we live or to have our phone number at this time, because of her criminal history. But I would love to get letters from her...I would love to have a picture of her to put in his room. I would like to know that when he is ready to search, it won't be that hard to find her. I'll continue to send letters and pictures, and keep praying that we will hear from her soon. I hope this sort of answers your question. If not, let me know if I can add anything else. Lyn