Foster kid lying to the social worker

I think it's important for FS to know that his lies have impact. CW could have decided to move him to a home with no animals. You could have been told to remove the dog from your home if you wish to continue fostering. If it were me, I would want him to tell the truth to the person he had lied to. But I'm no expert in dealing with older foster children. All mine have been under five. Good luck.

I have to say ---for some this would be a minor thing. I would be enormously upset, myself. I assume the dog has been there much longer than the foster has--and the dog is family. To me it would be akin to the foster being manipulative and telling the CW he is afraid of one of the family members and doesn't feel safe being there. I would definitely give consequences of some sort---perhaps calling the CW or all of you going to visit the CW and having the foster tell them that he lied and made it up to get a reaction. Let him do the talking and then chime in and say "yes, X told us after you left he did it to get a reaction. I felt like he needed to tell you the truth and I would rather the truth come from his mouth since he is the one who claimed he was afraid in the first place."As another poster said, it could come down to them telling you that you can't foster anymore with the dog there---so either the dog that you have had for so long is gone or the other fosters you might have now or in the future aren't there. Surely he was seeking attention from the CW when he lied to them so I say let him have some more of their attention and have him tell them the truth about the situation.

I know - That was just my fear. I don't want anyone coming to say I have to get rid of my dog. I love this dog like a kid, we've been together for a long time and I don't know if I could give him up... I also don't want to loose this boy - I care about him a lot and he is an awesome kid, for sure - couldn't give him up either....I think I over reacted (in my head - he doesn't know how upset this made me). I did let the social workers involved know though because they should be aware of his tendency to tell tales. I need to learn to breath and relax. This isn't that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things. I have noticed though that, after fostering for awhile, there are so many surreal moments - things that aren't a big deal and that get so blown up and ruin days or weeks - that I never know what to expect so I can get worried about little things. Fostering isn't for sissies and I need to learn to be less of one....

Have the dog lay in front of the refrigerator,with a stack of sodas and snacks on the counter next to the fridge.."Since the dog barks and growls, making you feel unsafe, we think it best, for your safety of course, for you to stay at least out of the same room as the dog. This is part of our 'safety plan' with the CW. If you have issue with this, you will need to talk to the CW and clarify a few things." Too passive-aggressive?

Rofl at last post!!!! Omg! So funny!!So got a call from the sw, who I was worried was going to have me make a "Sophie's Choice" between my dog and boy, today. She wanted to know if we would take another teenager because she is so impressed with how we are dealing with the one we have now.... Omg. Also rofl over that - I have never in my life felt so inept and incapable. At least someone has faith in us.Love the boy, love the dog.

I would tell him each time the dog barks and growls that the dog is trying to talk to him and the dog is trying to tell him that he needs another butt rub! I would say it each time and accompany it with, "he (the old dog) is taking on to you and is happy asking you to do the rubs since you are giving him relief from his agonizing arthritis". Kids are grossed out and embarrassed at everything "real" at that age (teens). I would make it like an AWW! moment of endearment and amusement. So, here is the thing, it should embarrass him so, the indignity of it all!....that he be asked by the dog to rub him.. so he will most likely not bring this up as a show in front of the SW. Kids in care lie at random sometimes for attention. They lie for attention or just because, and just as extravagant as their lies could be, so would my reaction be to this specific situation---yet, not in a corrective stance, but more like one of amusement. This way, he will know that he did not get under my skin or manipulate me. I would not ask him to rub the dog, I'd say it is the dog that wants him to. Nancy Thomas tapes address reactions to such. She has extensive knowledge on the topic and in addition to the tapes or cds, has also written books on kids, attachment, conduct, lying, etc.