Advertisements
Hello, My husband and I meeting our kids where planning to adopt for the first time next week. It's a sibling set, little boy just turned 5 and his little sister is 5 mos old. We have 3 children 1 biological daughter she is 15, and our two adopted children our daughter is 5 yrs old and our son will be 2 next month. We adopted our daughter when she turned 2 and our son was a newborn... So bringing a child home at 5 yrs old is new for us... We will do visits with them until there comfortable with us... Just hoping for any advice on how to help with attachment?? Thank you! ߘ
Like
Share
It's been a few weeks so I'm guessing you already had your first visit. How'd it go? Hoping that all went well!Right now, my husband and I are in the process of adopting an almost 11 year old. We are currently doing visits. We have been visiting with him now for about 2 months and are hoping to be moving him in in the next month or so:)We are very lucky as the kiddo we are adopting has been very open to us and has started to bond with us pretty seamlessly. I think the best thing is to take everything at a pace that is comfortable for you and for the child. I think establishing comfort with physical touch is very helpful. We took this slowly. We began by occasionally putting a hand on his shoulder or tousling his hair. We have now worked up to hugging and kissing him goodnight when we tuck him into bed. Another thing I think is SUPER important for bonding is to meet their needs - even the littlest ones. Our kiddo constantly seems to have cuts on his hands and so we make a thing of bandaging him up. He would also get out of the shower with soaking wet hair so we insisted on towel drying it. He let me know how silly that was but guess what - now he gets out of the shower and comes with a towel and asks me to dry his hair. Meeting these little needs (in addition to the big ones of course) has seemed to help our kiddo to trust us and I have to believe that is at least part of why he has been as receptive as he has.Part of it of course is just time. What I think I have found most surprising is that it took ME time to start feeling an attachment to him. I of course adored him from the start and felt very protective of him immediately but the love of a mom for her child took some time to start to grab hold. I felt like a total monster until my mom helped me to realize that sometimes these things just take time. And, when I was ready, I started telling our kiddo I loved him as I was putting him to sleep. He has now started telling us he loves us. Hoping at least something here will prove to be helpful to you. We don't have THAT much experience or knowledge to share. More than anything just want to wish you well on this journey!
Advertisements