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Hello all,
OK well first let me say that the bio Mom is not the major issue but she still is on drugs but never had to say anything when we had our 2 times a year Bio Mom visits. My issue is with my adopted 8 year old girl. We tried to incorporate her "Bio Mom" into our life as much as we can (see we agreed to 2X a year visits so Mom would sign the papers = OUR MISTAKE)
She has made things for Bio Mom, referred to me as Debra to my friends (new thing) and when asked she says well I have 2 Mommys (once again we tried to tell her how lucky she is that she has 2 moms that care about her) but now she is taking it so much further. I am fearing this is not good for her and I was wanting to write a letter to Bio Mom and ask her to step back for a while (years) until she can process more. NOT SURE if that is good for her or not, just worried to make a wrong move. I think she can not handle having 2 Moms and is getting very confused.
Legally we would have to petition the court to stop the visits but we do not have her in counseling since there is nothing much in our area so I can not go that route at this time.
Any advice is appreciated........
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Was this an infant or foster care adoption? Honestly, I would say keep things as they are (as long as you and your family are safe). Your daughter has already suffered tremendous loss. If you take steps to prevent visits, your daughter's loss will be compounded. It will not be easy.. Trust me. But this is best for your daughter.
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Your Daughter is also at an age or ' of age ' . Where if this went to Court .The Judge would ask your Daughter what she advocates or desires. Then you would have a Court Order involved??The Court would also look at or be concerned with what is in your Daughter's ' Best Interests ' and not the Adults !!' Ditto ' or I agree with Millee as well also!!