New and looking for foster-to-adopt guidance

Hello! This is my first post and I'd just like to say that I am several years from being able to adopt. My fiancé and I would like to buy our own house and get married before getting certified. However, it has been something we've talked about a lot lately. Our ultimate goal is to adopt children between 0 and 36 months from foster care. Ultimately we'd like to grow a large family through adoption (we're buying a 12-15 passenger van) and are open to many types of children. I have a brother that has developmental delays as well as hearing, sight and speech impairments and that is the type of child we are most eager to parent (I would accept a physically and/or mentally/developmentally/emotionally healthy child if asked). Having said this my fiancé states that he would be a better parent child with the potential to eventually physically feed themselves, communicate with us effectively and walk. We are open to all races and would consider a younger than school age sibling group. Very open to adopting across state lines (are are in Wisconsin) and taking the challenges to come our way as we do not have any children of our own and it would be incredibly unlikely that we would be able to conceive any without assistance. Please don't think we see adoption as a consolation prize! Its where I feel my true calling to be. I just have a few questions I'm sure more seasoned parents could answer better than any book or google search. Considering how open we are to special needs children, would sticking with low legal risk and straight adopt placements likely produce a favorable outcome? In your experience how long was the wait from approval to placement and placement to gotcha date? I love hearing personal stories Has anyone used photo listings to find their children at such a young age? How did that go, how long did it take and what was withheld from you that you wish you would have known? Have you noticed trends of stay-at-home-moms being picked more frequently for kids with special needs? I will (ideally) be running our family farm so I'll be home almost all the time to provide that high level of attention. Has anyone homeschooled a child with special needs? I know I can only do this once the child is legally ours but it has been something I've dreamed of doing since I was a little girl and truly means so much to me. In what ways to family farms have to be altered for home studies? Is this something to ask our individual caseworker when that time comes or will it make us look bad? One last question (and it is a touchy topic so please be kind) My fiancé has Aspergers. He is highly intelligent, works a great job, has a wonderful social life, drives, shops and lives like everyone else. His employers do not even know. How open about this should we be? I'd never lie during the home study (or lie by complete omission) but I wonder if it would help or hurt us in being chosen. Any takes on this would be VERY appreciated. Thank you so much for reading my long, rambling post! Can't wait for responses.