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Being a birth mom is interesting because you're the biological mother, but not 'mama'. Every adoption is different, and different people are comfortable with different titles. I have heard various titles, such as "tummy mommy", "aunt so and so", "birth mom so and so", or just going by a first name. What does your birth child call you? How did you come to that decision with the adoptive parents?
Mine calls me Aunt Sarah.
His parents have a rule about calling all adults Aunt and Uncle before their first name, as a sign of respect.
I hate it. But what can I do.
I have eventually stopped visiting him, so it is non-applicable now.
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I'm actually pondering this now. My daughter's parents have asked me what I'd like to be referred to as. Right now it's just, "Kayla." I feel like referring to myself as her aunt sort of dismisses the fairly huge role I played in her existence and her current family dynamic, but at the same time, I don't want to step on toes unwittingly. I'd like to be formally something other than, "that lady my parents make me go visit." She's 10 months old, so we have some time to work it out before we get to that stage, but I think I'd like my presence to be malleable; to be whatever figure in her life she needs at the time. Not parental, obviously. I did an amazing job picking her family out (if I do say so myself) but a confidant, a friend, a presence. Whatever she needs as she needs it. I don't have a name for that. Maybe I'll end up being "Tummy-mom" or "Belly-mom." I think we'll just have to wait and see.
Mine calls me Aunt Sarah.
His parents have a rule about calling all adults Aunt and Uncle before their first name, as a sign of respect.
I hate it. But what can I do.
I have eventually stopped visiting him, so it is non-applicable now.
Maybe "Aunt" would be fine.
My daughter calls her miss Krissy or refers to her as the lady who gave birth to her. Titles and labels are very literal for a child so calling the person who left her in a car, mom just doesn’t sound right. She doesn’t deserve a title and to give her the same title as the person who does everything for her just doesn’t seem right.
Last update on July 19, 2:42 pm by megera39.
I am an adopted adult. I disagree. I believe both women are mothers. I see no issue in calling both mom.
This argument seems petty when you consider the LGBT and fluid nature of Gender.
I called my birth mother by her first name for a long time. I only recently started calling her mom and I didn't do it for her.
I did it for me. Motherhood and its roles were split for me. The sun and the moon are both important. I'm not going to choose between them. Both of my mothers have something with me that the other never will. If that doesn't mean more to them than the title something is wrong with them.
--- My opinion, let the child decide. If they want to call their school teacher mom, let em. It doesn't hurt anyone.
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