Guilt After Adopting

The way I see it, the couple who adopted my child have actually done me so much more good than harm. Yes, I hurt. Eighteen months later and I still miss that little girl every day. That's not going to go away. But that doesn't mean her parents did anything wrong. They have made my grief so much easier- they actually care about how I feel and try to make it better by keeping their promises and checking in on me. I know a lot of birth mothers who don't get that love and care from the adoptive families of their babies. The fact that you feel guilty shows that you care. Caring is good. But don't let that take you away from enjoying your son. As long as you are keeping your promises and caring about her, you've done all you can. I want my birth daughters' afamily to love me and enjoy her, not feel guilty. You are amazing for caring!

Thank you so much for sharing your perspective and feelings! That really helps me to feel more at peace with everything because I have been feeling so much guilt over knowing she is hurting. I just keep thinking of when my first son was stillborn and I left the hospital with empty arms and a broken heart. I have never felt so much pain in my life and I know it is different, it just still makes my heart hurt for her. I know she chose adoption at the beginning of her pregnancy and then she chose us and we spent half of her pregnancy getting to know her, but I just never want her to regret choosing us. We love him so much and I love his birth mom. I always want her to feel like we are there for her. It is such a unique and beautiful relationship that can be formed between a birth mom and the adoptive mom. I have never loved anyone the same way I love her. She gave me the most beautiful and selfless gift and I wish a world of happiness for her. <3