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Today I ran across a post about whether or not adoptive parents were allowed to stay in a hospital room after baby was born, but before tpr. There were so many comments about various people's experiences with whether or not they were legally allowed to, which hospitals would let you, etc. But not once- not one single time- did the wishes of the biological mother come up. The hospital can be a very special time for her, the only time she has alone with her child. And it really rubbed me the wrong way to see dozens of people not have a single thought about the woman who maybe wouldn't want adoptive parents around the entire time they were in the hospital. For a domestic infant adoption, she has the right to say "No, I would rather you not stay in the room next to me after I give birth" or "yes, please come stay and enjoy baby with me". But no one thought about it.
It's so frustrating for me that I see situations like this all the time- after birth mom has the baby, it's like she no longer exists to some people. Birth dads are thought of even less.
Have you had a similar experience? Do you think birth parents are sometimes erased from adoption discussion? What can be done to change this?