What made you decide to be a foster parent?

When my DH and I got married we knew we wanted kids. However I wanted 1 and if he had his way he would have 6 lol. I always thought we would be 'one and done.' Well after DS number 1 my SIL fell pregnant with her 3rd child and put her up for adoption with another family member. Said family member became ill with cancer and the baby was going to need to be placed with another family member. Just seeing this helpless perfect baby needing someone to love and provide for her made my heart ache. We went through the first steps of a home visit and then a supervised meeting and then visits in our home with her. Turns out the family member went into remission and my niece was able to be adopted by them and left our home. DH and I were happy but knew we wanted another child. So we had DS number 2. I now am faced with another situation 4 years later of a mother asking me to consider adopting her unborn baby (however she is still indecisive on rather she will give the baby up). After speaking with DH we agreed it's a calling from God. He is giving us these opportunities and if one child by chance actually needs a home we feel like we should provide that. It's the waiting and not knowing that is killing me. But this too shall pass.

It took DH and I a loooong time to get pregnant. We dealt with the whole infertility thing for 4 years, during which we also suffered a miscarriage. While we dealt with all this, we did explore the idea of adoption and agreed that we were both open to the idea.Fast forward 3 bio kids and 12 years later. My brother (who has jumped from one misguided action to the next his entire life) got into a relationship with a woman who he said was pregnant with his baby. After the baby was born it was immediately taken into DHHS custody, as both my brother and his gf had lost all of their previous children already. He called me and asked if I would be willing to foster the baby until he and the gf could work through the program. I agreed and got the information for the caseworker on the case. We set up a home visit with the licensing worker and they came out to talk with us and informed us that they were running a paternity test on my brother and if it was confirmed that he was the father, the baby would be moved to our home immediately.I noticed when speaking with the caseworker on the phone and especially the caseworker that came to the house, that they were acting sort of weird. I didn't focus too much on it, as we'd never done anything like this before so we didn't really know what to expect. Then the next day my mother sent me a picture of the beautiful new baby and I realized why everyone had been acting so weird. There was NO way that my brother was the father of this baby. My brother and his gf were both white and the baby was clearly African American. Needless to say, the baby remained with her original foster parents who eventually adopted her. A year later I went to work for child family services as a clerk and then spent the next year talking my husband into getting licensed to foster to adopt. We've been licensed for 4 years now and he's a bigger advocate for fostering than I am.

This can be a bit tricky and you really need to do some soul searching when your making the decision. My wife and I wanted children but we go married in our thirties. Add a few years of trying and not succeeding and a few other medical issues that would complicate a pregnancy, and we decided that instead of getting pregnant we would adopt.We went to private agencies to adopt, but I didn't like the process, or lack of it. I wanted step 1, step 2, step 3 etc. All we could find were options like "Give up $25, 000 and we will see what happens." While I viewed the upfront money as a kind of filter, it also made it feel like baby shopping, and left a really nasty "taste". That and the total lack of "steps" just made me decide that wasn't for us. Next we looked at state adoption agencies and these were great. They had exactly what we were looking for. There were clear-ish steps, there was support from the agency, and it seemed like there was a real need. So we went to orientation. While there we were given some info on the fostering process. For my wife and I that really sparked our interest. We could love, care for, teach, and influence (the reason we wanted to have children in the first place) a potentially huge number of children. Not all at once, of course, but over time. At the same time we could really help out kids that needed it. It was a "win/win" to us. We got what we wanted (children to love, care for, teach, and influence) and the kids got what they needed (a home with loving and caring adults). So we switched gears and started to investigate. Months later, and with the classes and licensing process out of the way, there are a few things that you don't think about going in. However most of them really boil down to "Foster children are more challenging then bio-children". There are (at least in our state) not many other differences. You have to put up with people in and out of your house, you have to be able to put the children first, and you have to be willing to work with the bio-parents. If you can do those things, and there not always easy, then you could be a great foster parent.You just really need to ask your self, can you put the children first. Even if that means giving them "back", because most children in foster care will "go back" at some point.

I spent a lot of time around kids who were in the foster system growing up. Every child needs to be loved and understood; these kids never get the opportunity to know what it is like to be in a family. That is crushing to the soul of a person and can overshadow their entire lives.I knew at a young age that I was not going to have kids of my own but foster. I wanted to be that solid foundation for kids who have none and maybe they would grow up to do the same thing.