Advertisements
Hi everyone and thanks in advance for your help here. My name is Chad, I am a 28 year old single male who has been working with children for 10 years; with the last 4 being in a special needs/behavior group home & school (Ed Tech) setting. 2 months ago we had a client come to us that I have really grown a strong bond with. I have now started the process of becoming a foster parent as this young man really needs someone in his life. Obviously there is the risk here that my agency is going to see an issue with this once the process really kicks in, but it's a risk I am willing to take.
I have been doing a lot of research and still have some questions, or scenarios that I would love to hear your stories for. I offer a lot of strengths but there are three things that I know have to change before the process can take place. One is my current 2 bedroom apartment only has 1 path in and out, that's a (hopefully) easy fix as I am currently looking for a new place.
Next my concern is being a male in his 20s, but I feel strongly that my work in the field will help that.
My last real concern was an OUI 3 years ago. I don't think anything has helped me grow as much as this did and from what I have read in the state of Maine this should not prevent my application. However, has anyone else had a similar experience?
I have signed up for the intro class, then will get the application filled out so I can take the classes in September. The last of those will conclude on 9-28. From the letter I received from the State of Maine they work to have people approved within 120 days of their application. That would bring things to mid-December.
Now providing all the other items have fallen into place does any one else have stories involving knowing the child they wanted to foster ahead of time? I feel like this should accelerate the process a bit as I don't really need to wait for the phone call I have read so many talk about, but am I wrong? I can think of no better Christmas present than having this child in my home for Christmas but don't want to set myself up for disappointment; if a delay is likely it would be great knowing now.
Thanks again everyone.
Like
Share
I would ask a social worker about the DUI. The rest I don't see as a huge problem but I know of a few agencies that would not even consider you for that reason. I imagine there are ways to address this, but an adoption social worker in your county would be your best resource for this information.
Advertisements
It's so tricky to answer that you won't find a clear cut answer, unless that answer is categorically no.The only things that really block you from being a foster parent are generally: - Rape - Child Abuse - Sexual Assault of a Minor - Kidnapping - prostitution Everything else is usually negotiable. Now that doesn't mean they won't flag your for you OUI. They almost certainly will, and you will need to explain it. But there not going to ask you as much as you think about "why" instead they should focus on "How are you going to prevent it in the future?" and "Are there currently any restrictions that would stop you from being able to, for example, drive a child to visits with there parents?" they might ask "How will you deal with bio-parents that find out and have had their kids removed for drug abuse or alcohol abuse?"In other words, they generally won't care about back then, just about going forward, and so long as you can answer the questions well, then it shouldn't be a problem.For example: "How are you going to prevent it in the future?" Could be answered with, "It was a stupid one time mistake, but now I make sure I don't drink and drive." Or "Are there currently any restrictions that would stop you from being able to, for example, drive a child to visits with there parents?" Nope, no problems. How will you deal with bio-parents that find out and have had their kids removed for drug abuse or alcohol abuse?" could be answered with "Well I know at least part of what they are going through. I could talk about it with them, or be an example of things getting back on track."You should be fine, but I know that feeling. You end just waiting for them to be all "NOPE!!!! Your not good enough!" When the real truth is they don't expect perfect, there are a set of "hard stops" but they are not as complicated as you want to believe them to be. It really boils down to if your "manager" (different names in different states but the person that licences you) feels like you have your stuff together well enough to help kids.
Nothing is more important than these kids having someone that loves them. Definitely don't give up but realize you are going to have to do some stuff during the application process to make up for it. I would say go the extra mile everywhere due to the DUI and background. The worst fear is that a placement ends up damaging the kid - you can't undo that type of disappointment and disaster. Start reading books on how to prepare kids for finances, life skills, college - stuff specific to older stuff. Take college classes on the subject. When the homestudy comes, have it spotless and prepare a few meals for the person doing your interview and homestudy to show you really have thought about everything.Showing so much care and concern will really express how you are not in this under an impulse. Here are some videos about single dads adopting older teens. Some of my favorites <3