Hi everyone,
I am just beginning my journey to adopt. My husband and I have been married going on eight years. We were high school sweethearts, and unfortunately, I have some major health problems. One health issue would make it incredibly difficult to become pregnant, guarantee gestational diabetes, and then nearly insure insulin dependence for life (this is after getting multiple second opinions from endocrinologists). Unfortunately, I also have a family medical history of serious mental illness (not detectable through genetic testing), and could be a carrier. The final straw in the biological plan was when I found out that I have an autoimmune disease that could attack the child I am carrying and cause serious birth defects that will follow the child for life.
Therefore, my husband and I considered other options, from embryo adoption and surrogacy to egg donors and surrogacy, to adoption. We decided adoption was the right path for us, and have decided on domestic adoption as we would like to raise an infant from as close to birth as possible.
For those of you who have been on this journey for some time, I would love to hear from you about any excellent experiences you have had with agencies or adoption lawyers. There are so many options and we are overwhelmed and not sure of where to start.
I am a teacher and my husband is an artist, so although we can support a child we are not independently wealthy. Therefore, we are trying to find a mix of an effective way to adopt a healthy baby without taking on so much debt that the little guy or gal won't have a college fund.
We looked at the Children's Home Society of New Jersey and they seem to be up front, honest, and reasonable with their fees. I inquired with Catholic Charities and it turns out that in my archdiocese they don't provide for any adoptive services- only for fostering. I have found that surrounding archdioceses won't allow me to go through them because I don't live in their area. Some of the bigger agencies have fees upwards of $40,000 which just isn't doable for us.
My husband and I both came from big extended families and I just think children are God's greatest gift. We are itching to start our own family, and we believe our child is out there, we just don't know the path to take that will help us find he or she the soonest. All ideas are welcome!