My sister just passed away and she gave up her son to a wonderful mother and father who I met briefly. The adoption was considered closed but as a young child I remembered their names, where they lived, and their occupations. I recently found them on social media and have been debating on informing the parents of my sisters passing. Not to get anything out of it, but just to let them know in case they ever decide to look for their sons biological mother. In addition my sisters passing was due to some medical conditions that are genetic and I would be willing to provide them some details.
I have heard of many stories where the adoptive child finds out after months of research that their biological parents have passed. I would like to save some heartbreak for this family but not sure if it is the right thing to do, or would be considered intrusive or "bad form"
Any advice?
I would definitely do it. I would hate for them to search for that long only to find out she had passed if I knew I had the information they were looking for. Especially since there's medical information that is important for them to know, I would do it. If they don't want to respond that's up to them, but I think you might feel better if you do tell them.
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worst case scenario they ask you not to contact them
you didn't sign any paperwork saying that you can't contact your family members
- adult adoptee
also it's messed up that anyone has a closed adoption despite how traumatic they are for the kid