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My cousin's birth son found me through a shared DNA match. Through info he had from adoption agency that he shared with me, I determined that his birth mother was my first cousin, whom I have never been very close to. I had no idea she had had a baby. My question is should I give her a heads-up that he wants to contact her, or should I just give him the info he needs and let him proceed on his own? The birth mother's sister and I are a bit closer but I don't have much faith in her reaction if I should approach her. Any advice?
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Shoot. I see this is a few weeks old now.I also found my father through one of his cousins. She contacted him before I did. If I had it to do over, I absolutely would have contacted him myself. I can't regret it too much, because I can't change it now, but when I found my mom, my lesson had been learned and she first heard from me.I don't think there is a one size fits all approach, but having just been through it, I would let him contact her himself. Either way she'll be blindsided, but then she won't feel like he just announced a secret (if it is one) to her entire family.I am sure you've probably made a decision by now. I hope it went well.Best wishes,Marissamarissa@findmyfam.com
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