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Hi, i am new here and not sure where this belongs, so i hope i am doing this right. I'm not really sure where to start, so this may be long. I want to explain a little about my situation and possibly ask a question or two. I'll just start at the beginning.
I also feel the need to explain the family situation in order for you guys to understand because it is very confusing. I have a half brother and sister (we share the same mom, but have different dads) my half siblings have 2 half siblings of their own on their fathers side that are of no relation to me whatsoever. This situation involves one of the half sisters of my half siblings and 3 of her 4 children. We will call her "A" to make it easier to understand who i am referring to here.
"A" has a long history of drug use, neglect, abusive behavior and an extensive history with CPS, having had her children removed from her care multiple times, but always returned upon completing CPS requirements and rehabilitation.
In September of 2015 my husband and I learned that "A" had once again had 3 of her children (the 4th child is in father's custody) removed from her care by CPS. All 3 of the boys were placed in a home for boys and then placed into foster care in seperate homes. When we learned of the situation, we immediately stepped in and asked CPS to consider us as a placement. After a homestudy in October of 2015, we were approved and the boys were placed with us in January of 2016. At first the CPS plan was reunification with "A" after completing all her required classes and rehab.
About 4 months in to us having the boys in our care, "A" is still not passing drug tests, falling asleep in court and not going to her therapy or parenting classes. We were required to allow supervised visitation. "A" would show up to visits completely plastered on drugs, and be very reluctant to engage with her kids. Because the case had already been open for so long with no improvement or change on behalf of "A" the case worker had decided to go for termination of her parental rights, the father had already signed away rights, and we planned to adopt.
I should mention that we live in a different county than where the case was opened, so we had several case workers involved and there was extremely poor communication between them and talking to them about any issues we were having got us nowhere. They had lots of expectations for us to meet, but did not offer any help in alot of areas regarding questions and concerns we had. Each one of them would refer us to the next. Because of this we were cutting close to our deadline and the original case worker did not like this, so she completely unexpectedly toward the very end of the adoption (I'm talking less than a month to go) decided to remove the boys from our home and place them in foster care after over a year of being with us, making extremely significant improvements, bonding with us and our children and finally doing well in school. Which was a major issue with prior placements
We were shocked and devastated and begged and pleaded for just a little more time to complete things because certain documents we needed were in the mail and we couldn't move forward without them, but she decided to remove them anyhow. On my son's birthday which was extremely upsetting for him and for everyone.
These boys have very significant behavior problems and had been doing very well with us, but still needed time to reach their full potential. I told the xaseworker i felt removing them was a huge mistake because they finally had stability, they expected us to adopt them, they were adjusted so well, and finally had security. I told her i felt removing them would disrupt their progress and cause them to regress. I told her i worried they would end up being split up and shuffled from home to home and it would emotionally damage them even more, but it did not matter. She insisted on their removal.
Speaking to her supervisor also got us nowhere. I assume they were friends and she trusted the case workers judgement and didn't like the fact that i was vocal about how upset i was and how insane i thought this was. I was never rude or unprofessional, but i absolutely did let my feelings and concerns be known.
The Caseworker promised to keep me updated after removal (she OFFERED this) along with setting up phone calls and visits with the boys so that we could all have some closure and they could have familiarity while in foster care NONE of those things happened, and none of my phone calls, texts or emails were ever returned.
My husband and i were furious and felt betrayed. We decided to get an attorney, but most of the attorneys we spoke to did not feel confident taking on CPS and those that did wanted $10-$12k retainer fees, so it was not an option for us.
Fast forward a year and a half and I just received a phone call from the boys case worker and guardian at litem asking us to take them back because they were having such difficulty placing them and adopting them out. It was a new case worker, and the old one was no longer on their case. I was informed that they went back to review, and didn't really understand or like the reason for removal when we were so close to finalizing adoption, so they wanted to reach out and see if we were still an option.
She went on to inform me that the youngest of the boys was adopted, but the older 2 were still in care.
Needless to say i am just shocked and extremely emotional. We want to adopt these boys, but don't really trust CPS any more. It also angers me so much that they took these boys out of a loving, stable enviroment that they were well adjusted to and put them back in the system for over a year, bounced them back and forth from home to home, seperated them, adopted out one of their brothers, and NOW, after all this time, we are suddenly good enough again? What changed?
This entire situation could have been done and over with over a year ago and these boys could have all stayed together and been with people they know and love. I'm so confused and so conflicted and just do not really know how to process this.
Has anyone ever heard of this happening? Having children removed so close to finalizing and then asked to take them back?
The healing process for us and our children since the boys were removed has been a long one, and just when we are coming close to moving on, this happens and it brings up all kinds of emotions.
I do think we will go through with the adoption because we love the kids and we want them where they belong, but I'm so bitter and angry and worried that this could happen again that I'm not sure what to do.
Any advice? I'm so sorry for the novel, and if things did not seem to make sense, please feel free to ask questions and i will clarify.
Thank you for reading!
That sounds crappy. Are you sure there wasn't another reason? You should be asked to be put on the fast track for adoption. The boys need stability, not to be jerked around because caseworkers can't get it together.
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