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Hello everyone and thank you in advance for any advice or guidance. I have been struggling for months trying to figure out what to do since I've never thought I would be in this situation. Someone reached out to me on Facebook claiming to be a daughter of my grandma's. The information That was provided to me makes me think it is legit and that my grandma really did put her up for adoption at birth in the 1960s.. I am struggling because I don't know if I should bring it up to my grandma because It seems to me that she wanted to keep it private and that it was a closed adoption. In my mind if my grandma wanted us to know about it she would have told us or if my grandma wanted to reunite with her then I think she would have located her on her own since she has the financial means to do so. I brought it up to my dad when it first happened and my dad says to leave it alone because all they're trying to do is get ahold of her money and he doesn't believe my grandma had another child... I have been contacted by the daughter and the husband of this person and they seem like really nice people but I'm struggling on what to do . I don't want to bring to light my grandma's secret because in my mind it's her secret to keep and to share if or when she is ready but seeing how she is 83 I dont believe it will ever come out.. My heart is torn because I want to do the right thing but I don't know what the right thing is so any advice or guidance is appreciated more than you know. Thank you for your time.
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How were you found? Did you do a DNA test? that will indicate if you're related to her. I would sort of feel your grandmother out. It's possible she buried her feelings... or it's possible she doesn't want anything to do with this person. However, since she reached out to you, there's nothing wrong with you establishing a relationship with her.
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She found me by doing a name search for my grandma and discovering that I was related to her via one of those websites so she then searched for me on Facebook. I'm just so torn because I put myself in this womans shoes and my heart breaks for her but on the other hand i have known my grandma my entire life and my loyalty lies with her. I feel like my grandma would have shared this with our family if she wanted to but she hasn't and is 83 years old. What would you do in my position? Thank you for your help