Disruption after four weeks-help!

Hello there..I am new here as well as a brand new foster parent. I had my FD for about three weeks when the honeymoon phase was clearly over and every request became a battle with her...and I'm talking about everything! Getting her up, ready for school, homework etc..the only time she was ever happy is when she was playing on a tablet or phone. Her behaviors were rapidly escalating towards my husband, which I found concerning, because she never got physical with me. She had started with playfully tickling to passive aggressive tickling to nibbling to slapping and finally she attempted to punch him when he took something from her because she was delaying her bath and wouldn't be re-directed into going to bed instead. That night she also got into bed to cuddle with him when she knew she wasn't supposed to be in the master bedroom, let alone in bed with him! He immediately moved away and got her re-settled in her bed. I didn't piece together all of her specific behaviors towards him until talking with another foster parent when I realized that we were headed down a dangerous path. My husband has the more flexible schedule and is the primary caretaker, so these behaviors scared us. Twice she yelled out that he was touching her inappropriately when he took a phone/tablet away from her and I was in the next room and I ran to see what happened, both times my husband moved away and FD said she was just kidding. We became very very concerned and contacted our agency, who said this was all normal behavior and that my husband could be the first positive male role model in her life. Thankfully grandma took her over the weekend and we discussed if we really felt qualified to handle a child with ADHD, ODD, PTSD, and sexually aggressive behaviors. When discussing all of these things with SW prior to placement, everything was brushed aside or downplayed, they said she'd never attempted any of things on her caregivers. We took her back Sunday night with new boundaries in place, I decided I wouldn't leave them alone together at all anymore, which she didn't like. Everything was a battle that night once I pulled her off technology and she became combative over a flashlight she wouldn't stop shining in our dogs' eyes. When she refused to take a bath, we tried to get her to let us read to her or to go to bed early and she didn't like those options either. She only took a bath because I called the Caregiver Support Line out of desperation..I'm not used to the constant conflict and she was running around, screaming at me when I tried to take something from her, and generally ignoring any direction we gave her. It all came to a head when to get us to come out of our bedroom, she threatened to feed the dog pizza when she knows it makes the dog sick. She also came into our room twice and got onto the bed with my husband, who immediately moved away and out of the room. I immediately decided I was done and we demanded to have her removed from our home the next day. I do feel awful with how it ended because her SW picked her up from school and when she called to say goodbye, she asked for another chance, which we sobbed and told her we simply couldn't take care of her. We are first time parents in general and feel that the behaviors we were concerned about were downplayed by the SW and now our agency is dumping us because they think we were overreacting with our fears of a false allegation. They don't think she was truly a danger to us or our animals and now I'm left feeling like a jerk because maybe I did do the wrong thing or could've tried to hang on a little longer but when your child won't listen to you at all about simple requests like eating breakfast, what do you do? Am I crazy?