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Originally Posted By AmomI got an error each time trying to reply to your post so started this new one....You are a treasure! How wonderful to see you being so considerate of your son's mom! My daughter's birthmother and I have communicated many meaningful things by talking to our daughter in front of the other one. : ) Kind of sneaky and probably not a good thing if it's the only means of communication but... : ) For your situation, you could cuddle your little guy with her nearby and say "do you know how happy I am that you have such a good mom?" or "I'm so happy that you're doing so well." Then really just force yourself to say the stuff to her! : ) Just pick little pieces that you want to say if a whole conversation seems overwhelming. I would fous on the things that you feel that would encourage her -not necessarily probing about her sadness - at least at first. Like... as you're getting ready to leave you could say "Thank-you so much for letting me come over. When I leave I feel so happy. Of course I have the little piece of sadness but it's nothing compared to how good I feel about what a good decision I made or about how happy you all look together." Or write a note after a visit saying those things. Whatever you do PLEASE let her know you're feeling these things! I promise you it will make her feel 100 times better!! If my daughter's bmom would have said those things early on in our relationship it would have made the first few years way easier!Good luck!
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Originally Posted By Katie's MomI too tried to reply to the message and kept getting an errorI agree with you. It is wonderful that a birth mother wants to express such feelings. In my situation, one of the best things I could hear from my daughter's birthmom was that she knows she made the right decision. It would have made things easier to hear them early on, but luckily it didn't come too late. My daughter is only 2 1/2. I think you gave sound advise. Thanks for saying it.