I don't know if I should keep my baby or do adoption

: : I am so sorry you are faced with such a difficult descision. Clearly this child is lucky to have a mom who cares so much about the child's own well being above all else. All of your processing about this decision sounds very logical and mature. Do you have any professional resources to help you in this decision such as talking to a counselor, finding a non-profit group that provides single mothers with assistance in securing health care, food, shelter, etc.? I think you are very very wise and protective to make the decision to stay away from your own parents as options (given what you mentioned about your childhood it wouldn't be safe for your child), but you might find the support you need to raise your child if you could connect with a parent support group and also find some parenting classes (many of them are free or low cost) in your local community. It is a lot of hard work (a full time job just to raise a child) but you might really benefit from the counseling and parent classes to help you feel confident that you are ready to parent on your own and it is not impossible if you are willing to do what it takes. That being said, even though it may be incredibly difficult, if you feel it is not worth the risk of it not working out and not being able to provide for your child, than my hope and prayer for you is that you are able to find warm, kind, loving parents to adopt your child that can not only provide everything the child needs, but also truly value you as playing an incredibly important role in your childs life as well. : ) Thinking positive thoughts and prayers for you. : :