Adopting 3 year old out of birth order? Advice please??

At 9mo, your son will be dethroned from being the oldest, and he'll adjust, if you adjust. In the end, he'll take his clues from you, so if you are OK with it, he will be too, after some adjustment to having more than one child in your home, which you might have already gotten through, if your foster daughter is already living with you.As far as being a multi-racial family, I would never encourage any foster parent to worry about this, because children are children, and families are families, and these artificial categories come from people who fear change, and that's their right to do so, but we shouldn't live by their rules, we should live by our own, so it comes down to how you feel about that.Sadly, I can say that I had no idea my own city was so racist, until I did Respite for 3 children that were clearly from at least one African-American parent. I had never considered how that might play out, before hearing a racial slur shouted at me and the children.The thing is, I live in a small town in a rural area, so this kind of thing is possible, but much less likely in bigger cities, so the impact to your family might depend more on where you live, than anything else.I would also point out that many many families now include a diverse set of parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc, so in some sense it's only the dinosaurs that you have to watch out for.Bottom line, do you want this child, do you love this child, because parenting, and being a family, comes first from your own feelings, because you are the foundation that you children stand on, as they grow, and if you are solid in who you are and what you want, these things will crop up once in a while, but they won't be what's most important.:heart: